Monday, January 30, 2017

Letters 507: A Glimpse of Heaven

"You have to love something before you can hate it."

- Nicholas Sparks (The Last Song, 2009)


To whom I haven't met yet,

            As I take a sit at the table waiting for the Chinese New Year reunion dinner to begin, I heard two uncles next to me discussing something about their life. They noticed that young parents these days (my cousins) worry about the child's college education even when their baby is barely able to walk. 

            Dear hummingbird, I could not help but to agree with them silently in mind. In my life, I saw young parents work too hard in order to maximize their income capacity. The joy of parenting takes second as they focused their energy towards work. Sometimes, I do not understand why some people too fixated on the future until they lose out on what the present can give to them.

            To be honest, I have been much blessed by God in my life. Some people asked me how can I be so lucky & remain positive amidst the many negative people that appeared around me day by day. For me, life is a journey full of trials & tribulations. It is not like I am Mr.Perfect. I did cry few times. But I did not show it or mention about it publicly. I can be moved by my surroundings but unless I continue my journey, they are just sad emotions, soon entrenched deep in the heart.

             There are many things that money can buy depending on one capability in life.There are also many things that money cannot buy such as time, values & love. I am always amazed how easy some guys managed to court girl that they liked. I must confess, for the first time, I am speechless when I told her that I liked her. But you know what was the best part of telling her about it? It is a question that cannot be easily answered because every courting is unique. Two different people with two different mindset is a challenge itself. Anyway, the best part of writing to her was that piece of e-mail itself give me strength to carry on, one step at a time. Every message from her without any rejection is indeed a bonus because I know the chance is close to nothing. I guess that is what journey in life is all about.

            I am thankful that there is this silver lining in my life all the time. I hope wherever you are in this world, life will always be nice to you too. Until then, have yourself a wonderful celebration.


p.s

To love is to receive the glimpse of heaven.



Yours sincerely,

The Half Moon Serenades.
30th of January 2017.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Letters 506: Faith

"You don't have to understand but you just have to have faith, faith in destiny."

- Sara Thomas (Serendipity, 2001)


To you whom I haven't met yet,

             For me, there is joy in both giving & receiving if we did it in the right spirit. You see life is not all sunshine. There are times when some of us feel like we are walking through very dark back alley. People said, boys don't cry but it is fine to cry once in awhile. 

             I cried before in my life. There was a time when I went to give the old folks at retirement home Christmas presents, their words just simply, heart-breaking. I got into my car & tears streamed down. But as hard as we cried, we also need to be brave to face the reality named world. Life for me is a faith.

            Talking about my life in the past few days. I do not understand why humans can be so cruel to each other. The ladies at my office organized this so called 'ladies day out' for Chinese New Year late shopping. Everyone but this one young lady. Not just they did not asked her, they even have the guts to tell her that she need to rest more (her face scared because of splashed hot cooking oil few weeks back).

            Dear hummingbird, I can see the 'wanting' in her eyes. So I went up to her & asked if she mind going out for breakfast with this fatty bum bum (yours truly of course & yes usually my face is thicker than the Great Wall of China) the next day. To my surprise, she said yes of course. Make it short, that breakfast turned into hilarious shopping experiences. Hilarious because your man here went to a shoe store, try a pair of shoes, only to be told by the salesgirl that the shoes is meant for woman.

          Anyway, I have no shame to be honest. It is just hanging out, not even a date. If I think carefully, I remember I went out a midget lady, a plump woman, a grandmother (not mine), even a prostitute (no sexual incident, thank God). My life is indeed a blessing.

          About the courting, I've confessed to her with no expectations only to profess. It is not gonna be easy, it is gonna be very hard but I want to do that. It does not matter whether she is in a good mood, bad mood, ugly mode, pretty mode or whatever she gonna be tomorrow. After all, I am just another guy, telling a girl, that I liked her very much.

           Until then, have yourself a wonderful day ahead. 


p.s

I am just exactly where I want to be. :)



To destiny,

The Half Moon Serenades.
23rd of January 2017. 

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Letters 505: Of Love, Hope & Scrabble

"And in this moment I swear, we are infinite."

- Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower, 1999)


To you whom I haven't met yet,

              I don't know if I will have the time to sit down properly for a lunch & dinner, because lately I was so busy with work. I have been waking up early, as early as 5.30 a.m. in the past few weeks. You know that kind of time when sunrise is still some time off & the birds have yet to start their chirping. Yes, that kind of time. 

               I took the opportunity to wake up & went for a slow jog or walk at Penang Botanical Gardens. It is a good time to pause, reflect & pray. It was not just about my own life in which I am grateful day by day, but also reflection about people around me. 
              Penang Botanical Gardens was a place where tonnes of scenes happened in my life. It was the first botanical garden that I visited in my life. It used to be less crowded unlike today where it looks more like a Tsukiji Fish Market in Japan. Can you imagine, the first I visited this place 20 years ago, a monkey snatched the apple that I hold in my hand? From that moment, I hold everything tightly each time I entered this place. But I never afraid of coming here again. Each time I came here, I hope there will be less drama, less monkeys & less chaos.

              Every day begins with hope. The moment I stepped out from my house, I prayed & hope for a good weather because if the rains come, there goes my smooth drive to office. But how do we remain hopeful? I know it is not too easy. But a good start is to embrace the reality that every day is a new beginning. 

               I mean I wake up every morning not knowing what gonna happen or who I am going to meet or where I am going to end up. Just the other day, I drove all the way to Ipoh for a plate of taugeh chicken rice, had my lunch with bunch of strangers.

               Dear hummingbird, life is a gift. I do not intend on wasting it knowing that I did not give myself a chance to tell a girl that I currently courting. Every morning, I messaged her good wishes, hoping that she have a better day ahead. Maybe it is kinda annoying for her but I hope she learn to take life as it comes to her. As the day comes to an end, I wish her good night, hoping she have sweetest of sweet dreams & to make each sleep counts. I just want her to end the day without losing any hope. 

               As I put a stop for this letter to you, I just want you to know that I will continue my search for you. People said that this searched will end up as nothing. But you are my world. One day, when you finally read all my letters, I want you to know, somewhere out there before, there is someone who never lose his hope in finding you.

               Until then, have yourself a wonderful day hummingbird.


p.s

Yours truly here took a day off from work & went to the old folks home. One of the old man asked me to play Scrabble with him. Actually I can destroy him in the game. But I just pretend my vocabulary is the standard of primary school student & let him win.That happy face (he went around bragging about defeating me) is way much precious for me. That is love. 


For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.

19th of January 2017.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Letters 504: Moving On

"If I knew you could hear me, I would say our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch."

- Tyler Keats Hawkins (Remember Me, 2010)


To whom I haven't met yet,

              I saw a lot of people living a messy life. It is funny in a sad way how one was trapped & hung on to 2016 while 2017 is here, right in front of them. So messy that they found themselves drowning & gasping for air in seas of problem.

               I tried to talk with a female colleague about one heart-wrenching incident in her life (divorce). The conversation itself was heart-wrenching & hard for both of them. She was hurt because she found out that all this while her church-going husband involved in extra-marital affair. If I know this conversation ripped her wound apart, I will never ask her to share the painful story of her husband infidelity. 

               The conversation ended but before that, she told despite all the explanation & apologies uttered by her husband, none of them was happy because they did not attain the closure needed in order to move on.

                Dear hummingbird, moving on is something easy yet difficult in so many ways. I was beyond mess through the last quarter of 2013. I was literally having mental breakdown whenever I was alone. But as time goes by, I moved on in my life & cast the mental breakdown away. I found myself smiling again. Just like that. I contributed my energy in helping the orphan at shelter home & the old folks at retirement home. I've lost a lover but I've gained a meaningful life. I forgave her because there is a tiny part of my heart which is full with fond memory of her. 

                  For few years, I abstained myself from being in any sort of relationship. But last December, I told myself it is time to give my heart one more chance. I am not closing this chapter of my life, I am just writing a new ones. It is a new life after all. I want to fly kite & court someone again. Yes, I know I can't make the girl I currently courted liked me, but I can always make her happy.

                   That is what love & moving on is all about. 



p.s   

One day, I will love you not because of the way you look or the way you talk. It is because of all the unnoticed acts from you, the acts that makes me smile.



For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.
13th of January 2017.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Letters 503: Everything

"When I had nothing to lose, I have everything."

- Paulo Coelho (Eleven Minutes, 2003)


To whom I haven't met yet,

              Here I am again for another letter, the 503rd & hopefully I should manage to say a lot before bedtime. It was a mix week for me to be honest. For the past few days, I haven't be able to do much as my back ache disturbed my daily routine. But today, I managed to get some good rest, a rest that I totally deserved. 

           When I least expected it, life sets me tonnes of challenges to test my courage & willingness to face the world. You see, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that I am not ready yet. Life does not look back. There are moments this week when troubles enters my life & I felt like giving up. But the problems is there for a reason. So I decided to face my fears & talk to my heart. 

            But other colleagues think exactly the opposite. They surrender themselves to fate without a second thought, hoping to find miracle to all their problems. They make others responsible for their work stuff. I decided not to give them any explanations, as people only hear what they want to hear.

            Dear hummingbird, sorry for the emotional outburst regarding my workplace. Let's talk about other stuff. For example, the courting process. Perhaps people will laugh at me but as strange as it sounds, I believe in miracle. But I should be thankful to God because at least one was give opportunity to love. When we love, we try to become better automatically, better than we are & everything around us becomes better too. Maybe her responds is kind of lukewarm, but it doesn't matter actually for me. I just wish her a good night sleep every night & wish her the best of the day the next morning. That is for me, a blessing. 

              As much as I wanted to write a long letter for you, I need to excuse myself from the laptop as my back ache is haunting me every seconds of the day. Until then. have yourself a wonderful week wherever you are. 



p.s

Certain things in life simply have to experienced & never explained. Love for you is such a thing.


For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.
8th of January 2017.  

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Letters 502: Angels

"It is quiet now. So quiet that you can almost hear other people's dreams."

- Gayle Forman (If I Stay, 2009)


To whom I haven't met yet,

       Here I am again for another letter to you (the first in 2017, the 502nd in 10 years). It was a long period of time & did you remember not too long ago, I mentioned that perhaps it is time for me to stop my writing soon? I told you that maybe the time is up & I should not wait anymore. Well, the truth is I am not.

       How can I stop writing when all this writing has been so inspiring & amazing right? For some people, my letters have been depressing & disheartening to read through. But I am proud of it because it is one of the way for me to keep me sane after long hours of work.

        Dear hummingbird, in future I know I do no need to seek refuge in my letters because my soul has found not just a shelter but a home in your heart. I am very sure it will be the last. *cross-fingers*

        As for the year 2017, I started the year with a bang. Like a real bang. The business flourished as expected after working days & nights. Also, I did few stuff from the bucket list. I brought my mom to few places that she longed to go before. Well, few days before 2016 ended, I wrote an e-mail to someone (not that she came from other states, Penangite through & through), telling her that about my feelings. Thank God I did that as I might regret if I kept it longer in my heart. Whether it is a success is another matter though, maybe not perhaps.

         Today letter is a short one as I am not feeling very well due to weird weather pattern for the past few days. But I just want you to know in future, I believe that as long as we know how feel for each other, we will be fine.

           In fact, we will be more than fine because you will be my angel.


p.s

Life always offers us a chance. Maybe not today, but it is called tomorrow.


For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.
4th of January 2016.