Sunday, August 13, 2017

Letters 537: Miracles

"To find each other & to feel, that is the purpose of life."

- Walter Mitty (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, 2013)


To whom I have met,

        When my grandmother passed away in 2000, it took me awhile to get what it meant. My 11 year old self stood outside of the old wooden house in Relau while the adults, more mature than me solemnly attended to her. When I was growing up, my late grandmother would excite me with stories about old Penang in her thick Hokkien dialect & gave me RM 1.00 as a reward for listening to her wonderful stories (even more impressive given that she was bedridden for close to five years). I would pretend to lose to her in the game of Snakes & Ladders in order to get the extra ringgits. But after her health got worse, I didn't asked for the extra ringgits as often any more.

          Anyway, the laid her body out in the typical grand coffin according to the Chinese tradition. Lots of relatives came to hug me & I hugged back because it seemed polite. To be honest, it took a huge effort to figure out exactly how I should behave. Should I wept next to my grandmother coffin as some were? Or sitting the uncles outside of the wooden house? Or helping the ladies at the kitchen?

           So when the rest of them followed the funeral procession towards the Sungai Ara Chinese Cemetery, I took the option of staying back in the name of protecting the house from unwanted thieves. I remember sitting at the corner of the living room, thinking that all these people only made the effort to come by to pay their last respect after years of disappearing & abandoning their own mother

            I felt sad. I felt that she lived the last few years of her life alone (apart from my mother & the late uncle who took care of her). Until today, I am still not sure what I felt that day. But I know I did not cry. My mother just hugged me when she returned from the cemetery. I guess some deaths are less permanent than others. 

            Life for me Samantha are already His miracles. Today mark the first anniversary of completely tumor free. I can only praise Him for His revelation of how He works. Indeed God is faithful all the time. For the past few days, I noticed that you are living your life to the fullest. Full of happiness to be exact. There is a little part of my heart that jumped with joy each time I saw you with a smile. But in your pursuit of happiness, Sam, be patience in everything & continue the journey in hope if you faced hardship.

            Until then, have yourself a wonderful weekend over there. I miss you. :)



p.s 

I am thankful for each little blessing that comes my way. You are one of the blessings.


Always,

The Half Moon Serenades.

13th of August 2017. 

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