Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Letters 518: The Church, The Wedding & Never Let Her Go



"If you let go, I need to go jump over there to look after you."

- Jack Dawson (Titanic, 1997)


To whom I haven't met yet,

         Actually I did not have a plan to continue my writing in this blog anymore. But apparently one of my childhood friend encourage me to write something, anything related to wedding (she married her sweetheart last Sunday). How can I declined her request right?

         It's been quite awhile since I attended a church wedding where the ceremony where Canon in D by Pachelbel played instead of the usual Bridal March by Wagner. Today, regardless of any races or religions wedding, modern romantic songs are the order of the day (think about any songs by Lady Antebellum for example).

         Wedding can be elaborately expensive or sweet yet simple (like Jane's wedding last Sunday). No matter how memorable that beautiful day turn out to be, it is just one day. The union between the two loving souls, however is a different thing altogether. 

          Dear hummingbird, wedding for me is just a day but a marriage is forever. In this current fast-paced world where divorces & broken relationships is a norm, I am always wondering whether a guy & a girl can really withstand the test of time before & after the marriage? I guess it is a question that cannot be easily answered because every love is unique to each couple. But for me, it is about staying together, for better or for worse. 

          It takes two to tango. The guy always make the first move & leads while never let go his partner's hand at the same time. Only when we can love with memories of good times will we be able to love in hard times. 

          Until then, I think that is all I can write at the moment about the wedding. Each week, there is a small part of me that always telling me, please write for one more time, just one more time. Maybe I will, maybe I am will not. Over the last few days, one of the things I've lost is my smile. I know it doesn't mean a lot to everyone else but it means a lot to me. I think, time is the answer for everything.


p.s

Love is not what the mind thinks, but what the heart feels.



To destiny,

The Half Moon Serenades.
28th of March 2017.


             

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Letters 517: The End

"Everything has to come to an end, sometimes.

- Lyman Frank Baum (The Marvelous Land of Oz, 1904)


To whom I haven't met yet,
              
         They said every good things must come to an end. I am pretty sure my blog is part of that 'good things'. How I wish this day never arrived. Sadly, today is the day I will end my blog, a dedication for you, the other half of the sky.

          For the past 11 years, I dedicated my time in putting into words about my life. I told you about everything, as much as I can. Not every day, but almost. I told you about my epic holiday around many countries in the world, I shared with you about my journey battling the neck tumor but most of the time, I told about my thought regarding you. It was the sweetest of sweet memories. 

          Also 11 years ago, I promised you that I will never stop until I finally found you. But I guess, I need to break the promise tonight. It is not the typical 'writer's block' moment. I liked doing it so much. So much until I did not care anymore whether this blog is earning money or not. 

          Dear hummingbird, there was a day, for no particular reason, I decided to write for you a long letter. So I wrote around 1000 words letter for you, The following week, I figured out since I wrote for you a long letter in the previous week, why not I just write a short letter this time. 

          As much as I would like to say tonnes of words to you in my last letter, I think I need to put the past behind. Sometimes, I felt like all this letters brings to nothing. No one stumbled upon it, no one fell in loved with this letter. 

         I don't know if we each have a destiny or maybe we're all just floating around accidental like on a breeze. But I think maybe it is both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. 

        With that, this beautiful memories comes to an end. :')



p.s

I failed but if there is anything you need, I won't be far away.


For the other half of the sky,
The Half Moon Serenades.

23rd of March 2017.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Letters 516: Birthday

"In truth, you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

- Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet, 1923)


To whom I haven't met,

           Well, the weather has gone back to the old ways again here in Penang (hot & very high winds). At present it is blowing a gale outside my house yet the hotness is overwhelming. But I am inside & switching on two air-conditioning units at the same time, so why worry right?

               Last night, I chatted with her about my birthday date. To be honest, I did not even remember about my birthday till she asked about it. Talked about forgetfulness right? Two years ago, I bought 50 cheesecakes for kids at the orphanages/centers & the beggars on the street, the year after that was 100 boxes of Domino's Pizza. I am wondering, what I should buy this year? 

            Anyway, I did not get any birthday cake for the past 8 years. So I hope I have the chance to enjoy your baking one day for my birthday. Do you think I could have a piece of cake some day? I had a great notion on a cook once up in Malacca because she made me some nice tiramisus for my breakfast. Perhaps she was practicing out the old adage of 'road to a man's heart started from his tummy'. As I was never a handsome guy, I put it down to my personality (hahahaha).

            Dear hummingbird, I have never had a chance to properly baked something for someone that I loved. Never mind, i will have all the wee times to ourselves when our day comes. I know at times, I will probably feel as if I am not gonna meet you any time soon, but i will keep my chin up & look forward to the day when you will be home & the period of uncertainty are only a memory.

             516 letters in 10 years still couldn't describe how much I wish you can be here with me, every day, not just on my birthday. And with that remark my angel, I will finish for today as I have some paperwork to do now. God bless you.



p.s

I am not sure whether I should give up after such a long time. I think maybe it is about time I should stop writing anything. But as much I as I am having this writer's block moment, I realized that if I give up right here right now, I might not start it anymore in future. I guess this is what motivated me to tell myself, just one more letter each time. just one more letter. :)


Until my future birthday,

The Half Moon Serenades.
18th of March 2017. 

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Letters 515: The Road Less Traveled

"Your only limit is your soul."

- Remy (Ratatouille, 2007)


To whom I haven't met yet,

           Being mindful of my blessings last weekend brings many bonuses along the way. Such as spending my morning teaching kids, my noon cooking at home, my evening playing hide & seek with kids at the orphanage or my night, listening to music, alone in the room, without any workload piling on the table. I am simply too blessed to be stressed. 

           Each day, I woke up as early as 5.00 a.m., put the laundry to wash & jogged at Penang Botanical Gardens. Some questioned whether my action of jogging is motivate by any causes? The truth is no. Do I need to constantly seek the applause from everyone to a different drumbeat each I did something in my life? I jogged not because I want to tone down the weight. In fact, I did not care about being fat or skinny. I jogged because I want to be as healthy as possible. 

            When I jogged at the Gardens, there was much to observe along the way. I spotted tonnes of wild animals along the jogging path. My Samsung smartphone were dead silent & there was no rush to reply to any work related messages.That is the wonder of jogging inside the real nature. Some took a road less traveled by jogging in the forest instead of luxurious gym. I took that road. Each time I heard skeptical jokes about my action, I just took it as a casual remark to push me onward in the journey of life.

             I prayed to the Power above to push back to the time when everything was normal. He did, even though not exactly as what I wanted. I have been through a bit of roller-coaster ride in the past one month. The potential fallout with her felt horrible at times. But somehow, I never felt overwhelmed. Like I said, it can work one way. I believe all storms will pass & that passed it happened. I am thanking God each day I received words from her. 

              Until then, have yourself a wonderful life there. Have faith, will you? :)


p.s

I miss you.


For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.
15th of March 2017.    

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Letters 514: Reasons


"Do you believe that if a man apologize enough for what he done wrong, then he will get to go back to the time that was happiest for him & live there forever?"

- Arlen Bitterbuck (The Green Mile, 1999)


To whom I haven't met yet,

          We have all complained at some point in our unique life that destiny is unfair. We say there is no fairness when others (lazy bump for example) seem to get rewarded while us (the hardworking ones) get nothing but a pat on the back. In reality, the world simply drives u in quite jealousy direction. We get caught up in the busyness of trying to be better than someone, using up precious time & resources, for all the wrong reasons. 

           Few days ago, I was astonished to see a colleague that owed me thousands of ringgits, bought a new car, Honda Civic to be exact. The first thought that crossed my mind was what the hell? I had no shortage of supporters too. My fellow colleagues, immediately face-palmed himself the moment he saw our colleague arrived with his new car. I assumed he owed him more than how much he owed me. As we were making conversation, everyone had a story to share about this guy. We were not angry, nor did we go on tirade about how much he owed us. Rather some of us, were all thankful that finally he would not disturb us with his story of broken car. 

            Lately, I felt that some people found a shelter in my writings. They said my stories inspired them to move on with their life & to be strong in facing turbulence. In simple words, I touched their life. You see my hummingbird, the real carpe diem is not measured by how I showcased to the world about my life. It cannot even be measured in an earthly manner. It is not about how I helped people without accepting any form of payments. It is about being there, lending my ears to someone as he or she passes the most difficult moment in their life. 

              514 letters passed by but I failed in my search for you. I touched many hearts along the way, but I failed to touch or should I say to find the heart that matters (you heart of course). But I am not tired. I am not tired of writing countless letters to you even though I knew no one will ever read it. I am not tired of praying to God. I am grateful. Grateful because God still love me so much. My mother still living her life to the fullest despite her heart getting weaker. That itself was one of the reasons I am grateful to the power above. But at night time, when there was nothing to do & the house was all empty, I'd always think of you.

               As much as I would like to share with you few more stories, yours truly here need to prepare the documents for this Monday meeting. As such, i wish you the best of life wherever you are in this world. Until the next letter, have yourself a groovy kind of life.


p.s

There's a reason for everything. God must have had reason. Just believe.


For the other half of the sky, 

The Half Moon Serenade.
11th of March 2017.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Letters 513: Of Joy & Turbulence


"Have you found joy in your life or has your life brought joy to others?"

- Carter Chambers (The Bucket List, 2007)


To whom I haven't met yet,

           In the past few weeks, I have experienced a few hardship in work that remind me how important it is for me to find joy amidst the turbulence. 

          Have I found joy in my life? I do not think I can ever come up with the perfect answer to this question. I assumed this question must, in a way remain unanswered in my life. I am grateful because I did not struggle for the right response to deal with this kind of turbulence. I have learnt that the best thing to as such moments is to do nothing at all. I could have been gung-ho & brave the turbulence, but I guess it was definitely wiser not to take the risk. 

          Dear hummingbird, if you remember few years ago, an old woman came to my office with three little kids in tow. She had little formal education & struggling to find a job that can support herself & the kids. Every day she travels a long way from Gelugor with bus to the rows of banks next to my office, to beg for money & mercy from everyone. Her monthly income, technically explain, is based on the money she received from begging. I asked her whether she wanted to start her own business if someone give her the necessary capital as kick-starter. She said yes & yours truly here help her to apply with the council for a space at the new food court at Brown Garden. 

           Fast forward to the year 2017, currently she enjoying her life as economy rice seller at the food court, earning four-digits income monthly. Last year, she came into my office with the money that I gave her as the capital. I declined as the money involved can be used for her business as rolling monthly income. But from that moment, each time I went there for lunch, she declined any sorts of payment from me. 

            You see, there is no need for me to give up easily each time I encountered turbulence in my life. Rather, it is good for my soul to reflect on how those with much less than me go about with their lives, thankful for each blessing that comes along the way. 

           Anyway, strange isn't it? I touched many lives in this world, from the beggar on the street to the kids at the center yet I failed to touch the heart of anyone out there after 513 letters in 10 years. But I believe, if I were going to try, I must go all the way. Let it be 1000 letters or 10 000 letters, all of this I believe are a test of endurance of how much I really want to do it. And I did it despite tonnes of obstacles in the worst odds. I simply told myself, I just haven't met you yet. But one day, there will be one girl out there willing to share her life with me despite tonnes of obstacles around her. That day & the subsequent days, it will be better than anything else we can imagine.

            Until then, live your life to the fullest my other half of the sky. It is just a matter of time. :)



p.s

Life moves pretty fast, right? But if you do not stop & look around once in a while, you could miss it. Take one step at a time in your pursuit of happiness. I will. 



For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.
5th of March 2017.