Friday, July 25, 2014

Notes 407: Of Living with a Lost Smile

Rumi once said:

"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes because for those who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation."

To you whom I haven't met yet,

       Life does not run along a straight line; rather it's a journey punctuated by a series of ups & downs. For me, I believed that anyone who is able to accept the twists but maintains his equanimity, inspired by absolute faith, is bound to rise high.

       Will you believe me if I said that the tendency in us usually is to bemoan our fate? Often we may be heard to mutter:

"I'm tired of living". 

       Even day-to-day (small) problems can turn into major heart-ache. This outlook should be changed because hope is the essence of life & we should use it for good because lack of inspiration occasionally comes to haunt even eminent persons. 

       Dear you, in my pursuit of happiness, I have found the reality in life, that if you hope until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more hope. So, always remember that where there is hope there is life. 

       Perhaps all the tiger in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our hope. 

       Over the last one year, one of the things I've lost is my smile. I know it doesn't mean a lot to everyone else, but it means a lot to me. I'm trying my best to take care of myself & embarked on countless journey to find my happiness because somewhere along the lines I lost it. But one thing for sure, I will never give up.
        And I guess that is what my life is all about at the moment. Tomorrow, for the second time in a year, I will embark once again in 8 days road & air trip across this beautiful Godsent land of paradise. I wish you were here with me but unfortunately, I just haven't met you yet. I'm sure that 7 years of writing 407 notes to you still can't described how much my love for ,if we ever met each other one day, someday. 

Until our next hello,

The Half Moon Serenades.

25th of July 2014.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Notes 406: Of Destiny & Love

Walt Disney once said: 

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all."

To you whom I haven't met yet,
         Few years back, when I was in my first working place, I saw a young girl from another department walking home from our office. It looked like she was carrying all of her belongings & I thought to myself:
“Why would anyone bring home all her belongings? She must really be a nerd girl."

         I had quite a busy day so I shrugged my shoulders & went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward her. They ran right up to her, knocking all her belongings out of her arms. Her glasses went flying right on the floor. Then she looked up & I saw this terrible sadness in her eyes. My heart went out to her so I jogged over towards her as she crawled around looking for her glasses.

         I saw tears in her eyes. As I handed her the glasses, she looked at me & smile on her face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped her pick up her belongings & asked her where she lived. As it turned out, she lived near me, so I asked her why I had never seen her before. We talked all the way home as I carried her books. But this was few years ago.

         Dear you, last weekend, I met her again as I sat in the coffee shop. She looked great, filled out & actually looked good in glasses. She had more dates than me & all the guys loved her. Sometimes I was jealous, & today was one of those days.

         I just looked at my friend with disbelief as she told the story of the first day we met. She had planned to kill herself over the weekend. She talked of how she had cleaned out her table at office, so her mother wouldn’t have to do it later & was carrying her stuff home. She looked hard at me & gave me a little smile.

“Thankfully, I was saved. You saved me from doing the unspeakable.” 

       For me, we must never underestimate the power of our actions. With one small gesture, we can change a person’s life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way. 

      I guess, that is what all my 406 notes in 7 years for you is all about. Sometimes, I asked myself, is it wrong to be so 'not good looking' until being left by my other half? But then, the other side of me said, I just haven't met you yet. Somewhere out there, I believed, we will meet each other one day. Someday. 

Yours Sincerely,

The Half Moon Serenades.

19th July 2014.



Sunday, July 13, 2014

Notes 405: Of Friendship or Love?

Roald Dahl once said:

“It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you.”

To you whom I haven't met yet,

      My mom’s best friends daughter, Y & I had become friends when I was still in primary school. She is 3 years younger than me & back when in Standard Three, we had gotten a little fond of each other. We started being “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” not like we really knew what that was at the time but we acted like it. 

      I don't recall what I got for my first exam & I don't know when I went on my first holiday. But, I do remember the first time I heard the sweetiest voice in the wide world. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. She was like an angel. 

     Now for some reason, Y didn't like to go back to her home after school. So we will end up playing at the playground in front of our house. I showed her the best way to throw the peebles into nearby river & she helped me to steal the peebles from our neighbour house. Y & me was like peas & carrots.

    Sometimes, we'd just sit out & wait for the moon to appear across the horizon. She was my most special friend, my only friend. And my first ever love. 

    As time goes by, we went on separate way after finishing our primary school. Y went to Chinese vernacular school &  I went to one of the top school in Penang. Both of us lost contact for a good ten years until one day, we met again. 

    Now, my mum always told me miracles happen everyday. Some people don't think so but they do. As I walked near Butterworth train station, I accidentally hit my head at the huge construction pole along the terminal. Believe me or not, another girl, at the same time, hit the same pole on the other side. And that girl, is Y. 

     I couldn't tell where heavens stopped and the earth began. She was so beautiful. But of course, we didn't fell in love with each other. She already in love with a handsome guy & I have my Sabrina, even though mine didn't last for few years unlike hers. 

    You see, for me, a guy & a girl can be just friends. But at one point or another they will fall for each other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.   
     Dear you, I had written 405 notes for you in 6 years, 10 months & 2 days. They said, when you're missing someone, they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now, because I just haven't met you yet. 

Until then,

The Half Moon Serenades.

13th of July 2014.


Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Notes 404: Of Birthday & The Colour Purple

Khalil Gibran once said:

“Just living is not enough, one must also have freedom, sunshine & a little flower.”

To you whom I have met,  

           It was a busy Monday morning when a girl in her twenties arrived for a job interview with a Malaysia's leading fully integrated media group. It's her lifelong dream to become a newscaster, to be the person who presents news on television. Coincidentally, that day, her man was there with her, far away from his home state to meet her for the first time in his life, on their first date in a five year of courting & long-distance relationship.

            Both of them enjoyed their first morning together under the hot & sweltering sun in front of the mega building of the media company. He looked upset about it & she stated that she was in a hurry as she had an interview at 8.30 a.m. She asked whether her man would be upset if she was slightly late because of the job interview. And he replied that he will be there, right in front of the main gate waiting for her & to listen for good news from his other half of sky.

            As time goes by, three hours later, the man still there was refusing to seek a shelter in nearby mall, just to keep his promise of being there for his girl.  An old security guard approached & asking him why on earth he sat under the hot sun. The man pointed to the crowd in the mega building & said:

"My girl, the one in purple formal attire, is in the line, waiting for her job interview to begin."
            The old security guard was amused to learned that the man who barely know his long distance angel & yet, still sitting there waiting for her. The man smiled & patted the old security guard hand. He said:

 "She doesn't know me very well yet, but I know her long enough to wait for her."

             Well, the girl failed in her job interview because of her slight mistake in reading the name of a country called Syria. He knew about the mistake but chose to keep it in his heart, just agreeing to whatever the girl said. Drop of tears can be seen in her eyes, but fortunately, her man was there, hugging her & holding her hand all the way in his car while driving.

             Dear you, true love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be & will not be.

            You walked away from me not knowing that you are my life. But it is fine, I guess. Everything happened for a reason. I’m not upset anymore. Just when the night comes, always I am thinking of you. What are you doing there, whether everything is fine, but I guess everything is well there?

Happy 26th birthday, hummingbird.

Yours truly,

The Half Moon Serenades.

9th of July 2014