Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Game of Love


Hans Nouwens once said:

"In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged."

         I recently heard said that in relationships that all arguments, tensions and breakdowns are based on one thing’ Do I Matter to You In Your Life?’

        The eastern life seems fuelled by one up man ship; who has what, owns what, whose thinner,sexier, richer, more successful, more intelligent or more popular. All of which strives to say ‘I’m better than you’ or ‘You’re not as good as me’.
 
       When this is attitude is brought into a relationship the see/saw effect happens and the result is imbalance and an unhealthy cycle of behaviour can occur, as each individual looks outwardly for more power, to avoid feeling powerless.

        Love built on this foundation and dynamic are short lived, dramatic and painful to endure, but often the thrill is addictive and mistaken for love.

        Every client I have ever worked with from children to adults reply the same to the feeling of powerlessness – they feel vulnerable(often reflected as unsafe) and it is this which underpins the above responses, a feeling which can be extremely scary and primal, to varying degrees for each individual.

      Power and vulnerability go hand in hand, as does fear and courage. We are born powerless and it is our journey in life to move from relying on external control and power over us, as children, to having internal personal power and self control; like the cub growing into the fierce lion, whose immense strength and power is contained and conserved for necessity; food and protection.

     Without that progression to internal power and acceptance of vulnerability, we cannot as individuals open the door to true love and we stay locked in a battle for power with others around us.

     Love is not a power game, so instead of looking outwardly and asking ‘do I matter to you? Perhaps it is best to first look inwardly and ask ‘do I matter to me?’

     And then as the old adage goes; ‘Treat others how you expect to be treated.’

     Only then, perhaps a groovy kind of love is just around the corner for you. 



P/S

To you whom captured my heart, five years of friendship with you makes me realized a lot of new things. I learned that sometimes the hardest things in this world (which is a woman's heart) can be overcome by the softest things in this world, which is love.

You are the other half of my sky. Like the music and symphony on the waters, you captured my heart in very special way and for that I am thanking God for bringing you into my life. It is like my night has become a sunny morning because of you, my hummingbird.

I love you even more day by day than I could have believed & I was prepared to love you forever and always. Since love growns within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of life, and you are my life.

Until the day we met again, put in your heart the fact that our love is a miracle, match-made in heaven and never let it go. Because in heaven and in love, there is no impossibilities.

Love is a dream that came alive, when we met.

I love you Rin. :)

For the other half of my sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.

 






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