Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Of Hugs & Love



Oliver Wendell Holmes once said: 

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." 

        It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to love to ward off depression. Follow these to get more of what you want out of life, to love and be loved. 

Recognize the difference between limerence and love. Limerence is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerence is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all the hormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerence lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerence, but limerence doesn't always evolve into love.     

Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have many failure experiences. 


Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood. 

         There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill the relationship.

         Perhaps a groovy kind of love is just around the corner for you with a simple hug.





P/S

To you whom I haven't met yet, did you believe in the power of hug? For me, hug is the universal medicine whenever we slipped into depression. A hug is like a handshake from the heart and worth a thousands words.

Hugging has no unpleasant side effects and is all natural.There are no batteries to replace, it's inflation-proof and non-fattening with no monthly payments. It's non-taxable, non-polluting, and is, of course, fully refundable. In another words, hug will be the shortest between me and you, one day.

I love hugging. I'd always hope that human is like an octopus, so I could hug ten people at a time. But at the end of the day, the hug from you is the one that I will cherish the most in my life.

Until then, put in your heart the fact that I had fallen in love with you way before we knew each other. 338 love letters here dedicated to you won't be enough to express how grateful I am when you appear in my life one day.

I will not give up on loving you.

For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.  

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