Saturday, February 26, 2011

Love at First Sight

  

Charles Dickens once said:

"What is love but a first touch in the eyes of humans?"        

             Do you believe in love at first sight? Scientists study our brain activity and say that it's quiet possible but everyone is free to believe or not to believe.

             Some people claim that it happened to them and it was like you raise your head, meet those eyes and tell yourself, it is he/she!

          Psychologists say that love at first sight depends on our psychological state at the moment. In some case we won't even notice those charming eyes in another they can make a lasting impression on as. Also they say that it takes about 30 seconds to fall in love or precisely speaking to estimate whether the person is worth to fall in love with. 

          By the way psychologists claim that men fall in love first.

          Many factors act in the situation of falling in love from the first sight. These are our ideals, intuition or fast logic, imagination etc. When you fall in love at the first sight you are usually ready and willing to fall in love. 

          Less possibility that it will happen if you are tired, stressed, solving problems in you mind. Of cause the main part in falling in love is given to the appearance, voice, gestures, smell. One person intuitively searches in the other the qualities and the feature to complete him/herself.
 

         Of course beautiful people attract attention the most,  but sometimes it's wrong to fall in love with them easily because those people are experiencing much attention from the people of the other sex all the time and your delightful reaction may simply have no answers.

         But if you suddenly fall in love with quiet unknown person and see that it's mutual that may mean even that mother-nature has chosen a partner that genetically suits you a lot. In this case it is like, match!

         When someone happens to fill up all the necessary categories like tall, cute, big-eyed, looks good, has a style and nice manners, you feels like heaven is watching over you.

           Still the cases when people really had fallen in love from the first sight and lived long and happily after that are rather it. You may dream of a beautiful stranger that waits for you just around the corner but it's wrong to name every slight sympathy and interest to a person the love at first sight. 

           Maybe you're just a little tired of everything that surrounds you or trying to fill the emptiness inside, yet it doesn't mean everyone who looks nice will do. Sometimes it takes patience and time to find out the true nature of your feelings, mind that wonders do happen but not as often as we would like them too. 

          If you suddenly have felt the wings behind you back still try to keep your feet on the ground because if it's really love at first sight nothing will happen to it but if you're taking illusions for reality falling back on the ground can be really hurtful.

             By the way some theories say that we fall in love not from the first sight but from the first smell. Scientist claim that we pay much attention to what our eyes and ears tell us but on the subconscious level the way the person smells play a very big part in his or her expression on us although we don't recognize it.

               As always there are as many opinions as many people. Each one has an equal right to exist because whatever the all those scientifically researches find out love still stays a sphere in which no one quiet sure in anything.


              Perhaps it is just another groovy kind of love in us.

P/S

To you whom I haven't met yet, I really believe that before you and me bump to each other in future, we were half a person. You know there is an old myth about people being half and the other half being in the sky, or in the heaven, or on the other side of the universe, or perhaps just a mirror image. But for me, we are two halves, and together we're a whole. That's what I feel about us. 

Dear mysterious someone, I have been waiting for you for quite a long time. But don't be sad, don't be afraid. Deep in my heart, I will wait for you to appear in my life one day. There was an old saying by a Greek philosopher that I quote, true love is like a blossoming lavender, it is a long wait, but when it blossomed, you will enjoy the air of serenity and love within it. How I wish that quote can be translated into real life.

Until then, close your eyes my special one, feel it. Feel the love that existed in us. One day, this love will connect us together like a fairy tales. I am not a special man in this world, there is no statue dedicated to me, there is no girl out there that chasing me, but you can rest assured that one day, when our heart start to beat as one, you will be the other half of my sky. Forever and always.

Loving you,

Half Moon Serenades.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Old and Young Love

        
           Mark Twain once said:

"Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths.  No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century."   
        
         Some say that we are born to love and that love is the meaning and the aim of our lives. Many people believe that it's a divine magical power that connects two loving hearts. 

          For ages people have been thinking of what love is, writing books and song about love, in the recent time, shooting movies all on the same topic. Muslims and Christians would say that God teaches us to love each other. The most skeptical materialists would blame it all on the chemical processes and hormones, romantic people would stand for the theory that each of us has his or her half on the Earth. 

          Whatever love really is, the humanity definitely loves it.

          Love is opposite to selfishness, because it's always heading to some other person but you. It's the highest point of humans relations development. One voluntary gives up a great part of his/her own freedom. 

         Love is giving by it's nature. Person feels satisfaction and happiness not from receiving but from and seeing one happy. Two individuals completing one another form some spiritual union in which one is happy because the others is happy and one knows that he or she loves because he or she knows he/she would do anything it takes to make the other.

          Love has it's magical power to overcome all troubles, heal illnesses, create wonders. In critical life situations it gives people the strength to survive, to hold on however tough the living gets. And it all comes from the knowledge that you're not alone in this world.

          But everyone should mind that love arises not between angels but between people with all their little sins and flows. So the mistakes, problems and conflicts in love are in fact normal, they all come from our humans nature. 

          But the clear feeling of love is worth all the troubles one has to walk through to gain it. As we know Rome wasn't built in a day, the same thing with love. There's not any perfect art of loving. It's always a road laid with  compromises, everyday battle not with the one you love, but with yourself. That's how love makes us better. 

         For everyone this way is personal. You can never predict how the relationships will develop but it's in your ability to make it better.

        Some say that love lives free years, other theory gives love one more year, some don't give it any chance. Very many people believe that a family is a grave of love. So the negative prognoses are plenty. But still there stay some true believers. And deep in the heart many of us would like to believe and do believe in love. Because it has some magic in it and all the attempts to explain and to define it are failures.

           Love makes clever people loose their mind and silly ones it makes genius. Love is paradoxical in very many aspects. There are statements that love is always happiness even when it's unhappy and at the same time  that there's both nothing worse and nothing better than it.


          Another variant is that you never lived till you loved, and that love is the key to life and the sense of it. We may cite very many sayings and examples. They all are true and none is final. In one thing we can be sure: one who loves sees the world in the different way when all others, things look brighter, birds sing louder, life shows itself in it's completeness.

           Perhaps, it is just a groovy kind of love that existed in us.




P/S

To you whom I haven't met yet, happiness is never stopping to think who you really are in my life. Sometimes, when happiness forget me a little bit, I hardly forget about it completely. For me happiness is a form of courage that any guy in this world should have in themselves.

When I was down with illness and broken heart, I told myself that if I search the world for happiness, I may find it at the end because the world is round, and it will lead me back to the original path. What is your opinion about happiness mysterious someone?

Today blog entry is a short one, but wherever you are out there, just remember, to the world you might be one person, but to one person like me, you might be the only world that I love. Put in your heart the fact that I loved you so much way before we knew each other. Until then, take care and may God bless you all the way in your life.


With love,

Half Moon Serenades

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

First Love


William Shakespeare once said:

"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds."

             Theoretically first love can happen in any age or not happen at all. But most people had fallen in love for the first time when they were teenagers. That exciting new experience most of us remember very well during all our life. 

             For an adult his/her own high school problems and the problems of their children seem very funny, silly and simple especially compared with all the difficulties of adult life. Somehow we forget how tragic and full of drama life and relationships were than in our adolescence.

             Than a teenager falls in love and it happens for the first time he/she feels all its ups and downs for the first time either. In that age we mostly enjoy ourselves and study the new emotions inside than show much interest for the inner world of our first boy/girlfriend.

              Once we start to show interest to the persons of the other sex and a little later instinctively choose our first love. The relationships between two sexes will interest and  trouble us during all our future life but these first steps are always the most difficult and for some of us turn to be very painful. 

            Teenager has a growing and changing body that he/she hasn't started to understand yet and a delicate soul which is so easy to hurt.

             Adults very often don't take this first affection for serious, they may laugh at it, preach, tell their children that they are too young to really feel anything, that his or her object isn't a good pair for him or her, they may try obey them stop seeing their boy/girlfriend. 

            This is all very wrong. No one can stop anybody from falling in love especially when it's so beckoning with the novelty. Wise adults can only try to support their young comrade to pass this complicated with the least wounds and hurt. 

            The feelings of adolescents are as changeable as their mood. So the first love usually goes very soon after it comes.  The mission of people around is to show that it's not the end of world and that a teenager is not alone, that there still stay people who love him/her and in their love he/her can't be sure. 

            The first love is only the first lesson to learn but it like Alphabet stays in the basic of the whole future relationships of a human.

              Very often we cherish these memories a lot, sometimes idealize them, remember the first love as something very innocent and fragile. If something went wrong than some people may have some problems with starting new relationships, they may even achieve come serious complexes that will be spoiling their relationships all the time.

              But there is no such low that tells we all fall in love for the first time in our adolescence if not with our coevals, than with our favorite teaches, famous actors and pop-stars. 


             Yes, teenagers searching an ideal love object in the real life and not finding it there can turn to TV-screen heroes, or persons who are elder and seem wiser and more experienced when the people of the same with them age. 

            Of course most adults don't take these kids falling for them too serious. It passes as does the hysterical passion for the pop-stars. But still some people don't fall in love at this age of first love at all, they have some boy/girlfriends in order not to differ from others, to satisfy curiosity and a booty call, they may really like the coevals they have relationships with, but still it nothing serious. 

             For those people their first love may come later, and the feeling will be the same new and surprising for them as for the teenagers. 

             But Bernard Show said that if you haven't fallen in love till you're forty you already shouldn't do it after.

            Perhaps a groovy kind of love is what the first love really is in a person life.



P/S

To you whom I haven't met yet, I thought I had found you when I met my first love. Her wish was my command until she ran out of love when meeting someone new. She is my every thing, I love her as good as any woman deserved to be loved but sadly she left me when I am down with illness. I guess I need to continue my journey to find you, my mysterious someone.

One day, when I finally met you in my life, I know that I am forever in debt to you. The love that you showed to me one day, I hope is not kind of love that can be paid by any coin in any realm, but a true love that live till death do us apart. 

Over and over again, whenever I met a new girl, I tried to tell myself that we can't be more than friend. I guess I am afraid of being left alone again. But I do know one thing my mysterious someone, love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat. 

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. I hope one day, you and me can see the evening flies hands by hands.


Until then, set myself free one day with your love. Help me to get out from the ghost of first love that cuts like a knife. Take care there my mysterious someone. I know you exist somewhere out there beneath the scorching sun and pale moonlight. 


A hundred hearts would be to few to carry all my love for you one day. Put in your heart the fact that I love you so much way before we knew each other. Perhaps it is the groovy kind of love that we gonna shared together one day. Someday.



Just can't stop loving you,

Half Moon Serenades.

Monday, February 21, 2011

One Thousand Millions Smiles

           

        Several months ago I was in a fine dining restaurant at Straits Quay with my best friend, Caryn Lee. While I paid the bills, we both noticed an elderly woman waiting to be seated. As we left the restaurant, she asked:

"Did you notice that woman with the wonderful smile?" 

          I most certainly did. Her smile lit up the room. It was a smile to die for_one that would certainly win instant friends. It was a smile that you don't often see in a stranger. And maybe Caryn and I smiled back, I don't remember. 

         Caryn later commented, "I wish I'd told her what a terrific smile she had." But neither of us had. We'd both received a gift without saying thank-you.

         Later, on my long drive home, I stopped at a fast-food restaurant for a quick bite. An elderly woman waited by the condiment bar while her husband ordered. She glanced my way and smiled brightly. It was one of those smiles that broadcast:

"I love life!"
    
           I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass_I was going to say something to her. As I approached this woman from 30 feet away, her smile melted into a rather startled look; as if asking:

"Did I do something wrong?" 

        I walked over to her and simply said:

"You have a wonderful smile!" 

         And her face light up! And she responded with an enthusiastic:

"Thank You". 

         My act probably made her day, but it also made my day. We truly exchanged beautiful gifts called smile that afternoon. 
 


SMILES: INSTANT FACE LIFTS 

         Life's lessons have taught me this: a smile is the number one feature that makes people attractive. It's a welcome mat. It's what makes folks approachable. People with a great smiles radiate a warmth that draws others to them instantly.
       Some people naturally have a great smile. Others_analytical types like me_must work at it. One way to tell if you're in my category is to recall picking up your developed photos. As you flipped through the pictures, you didn't like the way you looked in most of them. But then...you discovered that one great picture of yourself. In it, you look friendly_you're smiling broadly and your eyes twinkle. 

        Now THAT picture looks like you!
         
        I hate to say it, but ALL the pictures look like you_even those you dislike. Unfortunately, those "bad" photos, where your face doesn't look its best, portray how you often appear. In fact, you might normally look even worse, since you were TRYING to look good for the camera. 

         Usually you're not even making that effort, and may appear even less inviting than you do in "bad" photos. And if you're like me, you assume you're not particularly photogenic and that your smile needs work. When you've mastered your smile, you'll consistently look better in photos. Most important, though, you'll be more attractive and approachable every day.
         In everyday life the same concept of smile applies. You might be enjoying your job, but fail to show it. You may want to meet someone, yet not give them a single, friendly clue. You can even be in love with somebody, and totally hide it. Your face should express what you feel when you wish to connect with others. 

SMILE AEROBICS FOR EMOTIONAL HEALTH 

           One way to become better at smiling is increasing your awareness. Take notice of those you find warm and inviting. Is it their smile? Make an effort to look for great smiles. Notice the appeal of people who smile with their eyes, not just their mouth. The whole face gets involved. Consider these people your models. Study yourself in the mirror. How do you look in the rest room, when shopping, and while passing a reflective window? Do you look friendly? Approachable? Do you really like the image you're projecting? 

            In fact, a mirror is ideal for your smile workout. Practice various smiles toward capturing that perfect look for the camera. Work on expressing your smile with your eyes. A tip: cut a paper rectangle that permits you to see only your eyes in the mirror. Practice smiling just with your eyes. Get used to the feel of your cheekbones as they lift to brighten your eyes. When you see how a great smile looks, remember how it feels. 
  
           When you can finally project your best smile, hold it. Turn away from the mirror. How does your face feel? What muscles are you using? Make an effort to develop muscle memory, so you can instantly recreate this smile at will.


THE SMILING REMINDER 
 
          Sometimes it's life's little reminders that help us focus on making self-improvements. I set out to find a "smile" lapel pin as a permanent token of my smile's importance. After a fruitless one-year search, I commissioned the design and production of smile pins. Now when I encounter a total stranger with a million-dollar smile (not an everyday occurrence), I share the compliment:

"You have a wonderful smile...thanks for brightening my day! I'd like you to have my golden smile pin." 

        Then I might add:

"And someday, when you see a total stranger with a fantastic smile, you can pass on the pin to them."
   

         This little reminder has conditioned me to search out life's glowing smiles, and not to allow them to pass unnoticed. I always carry "golden smile" pins. And when I spot a show-stopper smile, I always express my appreciation.
Other strategic pluses:
  1. The pin reminds me never to leave home half-dressed: without my smile. Even while I'm running routine errands, it keeps me focused on smiles as life's true blessings. 
  2. By shaping my focus, the pin increases awareness of my public appearance and attitude. For example, when in a grocery line, I don't want the checker to glance up and think, "Why in heaven's name is this sourpuss wearing a smile pin?" It forces me to wear a friendly face all day.
  3. The pin encourages me to compliment others. When I fail to say a kind word about someone's beautiful smile, I feel guilty. Now, that's what I call constructive guilt! We've often been conditioned to feel shame because we've not lived up to what others expect, but isn't it more positive to suffer guilt for failing our OWN expectations?
           You needn't search for a smile pin to remind you. You can choose another object, like a clown pin, that will program you to focus on smile power. Or consider something that nobody else sees, like whimsical underwear. In fact, you may discover that the sheer strength of just your awareness can create positive life changes. With practice you can focus on life's smiles; and create your own relaxed, naturally warm smile. 

           And then when you get back a roll of photos, you'll like almost all of them! That's certainly been my pleasant experience. And when you encounter customers, strangers, or loved ones, you'll always be ready to pass on your award-winning smile! 

             This is a groovy kind of love in smile! 



P/S

To you whom I haven't met yet, happiness is like a butterfly which when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but if we sit quietly, it may alight upon us. We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather recognizing and appreciating what we do have. I hope one day, when you finally appeared in my life, I can bring a one thousand millions smile into your life and love you forever and always.

Love is when I care for someone deeply with my whole heart. Love is a passion of flame that never faded as time goes by. Love is when two hearts become one. Love is such a beautiful things to a beautiful heart. And I hope that is the love that I can found in you one day my mysterious.

Keep smiling and keep shinning, knowing that you can always count on me to love you one day. Take care there wherever you are and in whatever things you do. Put in your heart and mind the fact that I love you so much way before we knew each other. If there is anything you need in your life, I won't be far away my angel. 


Loving you,


Half Moon Serenades.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

How to Heal A Broken Heart In Love?


Edgar Allan Poe once said:

"We loved with a love that was more than a love."

         While leaving someone isn't easy, you'll find that being the one that's left is even more difficult. At one point or another, we all unfortunately have to go through the humbling experience of getting dumped. It's an inevitable rite of passage that makes us more sensitive individuals.

        There's absolutely no way to sweeten heartbreak. While it can spawn creativity in poets and country western songwriters, the whole situations pretty much stinks on a whole. Any way you look at it, being the one that was 'dumped' is always worse than being the one doing the dumping. It doesn't even matter how much you liked the other person. Your ego is bound to get bruised and cracked.

         Time is the only remedy for heartbreak. And much like mourning the death of someone you cared about, you will have to go through several stages of grief before you can begin recovery.


Denial
  
When you first hear the news you may feel numb or shocked. This is because you do not yet understand what has happened to you and your life around you. You mind is unable to process this information correctly. One minute the two of you are a hot item, the next minute your friends or nothing at all. Its pretty hard to process and pretty hard to stomach on matter which angle you look at it.
 
The disbelief stage can last anywhere from half a minute to a whole lifetime. Some individuals simply refuse to believe what has happened knowing that if they accept the situation they fear that they may never recover. Don't let this mistake happen to you. Your objective and ultimate goal is to accept your fate and move on to other endeavors. Being dumped is not the end of the world, so try to think through your irrational first instincts and what has happened as quickly as possible so you can begin the healing process.

Anger
  
As long as you don't beat your insignificant other to a pulp, burn down their house, or slash your past companion's tires, expressing you anger is a healthy outlet for all those negative emotions welling up inside of you. If you want to tell you ex how you feel, go ahead and do it because you really have nothing to lose. If you feel jaded, speak your mind and let them deal with the fallout.
 
Another way of dealing with your anger is to maybe write a poem or even draw a picture expressing your anguish. Feel free to write a long letter to your ex, being sure to hurtfully pick apart all of their insecurities, and then burn or destroy it. Basically, do everything necessary to keep yourself from acting on any immature, inappropriate impulses towards aggression. Losing control over you actions may feel wonderful for a couple of seconds, but it will only make you feel worse afterward.

Guilt
   
The guilt stage should rear its ugly head right around the time you are done venting your frustrations. Most individuals seem to turn their anger inward during this phase. You may even blame yourself for the ruined relationship. Spend some time in this stage, but do not linger in it for too long. See it for what it is and move on to the next stage. People who indulge themselves and spend countless days reliving the rejection can drive themselves insane.
 
In order to progress through this stage, you must remember that nothing you could have done by yourself could have contributed to the demise of the relationship. Unless you cheated on you partner, it 'takes two to tango'. So if you decide to turn on yourself for some minor infraction like flirting too much, think twice about putting too much credence into these ideas. It's more likely incompatibility issues that caused the problem and you need to start getting on with your life.


Grief

   
If you start crying for no apparent reason or go through severe mood swings, then you're probably entering the grief stage of the recovery process. No matter how shocked you were about the breakup or how badly you were mistreated, you will have pains of loneliness for some months to come. There is a saying that it takes three months to recover from every six months you were together, but the time varies for every individual.
 
Just remember that your attitude can have a tremendous impact on how long it takes for you to get back in the swing of the dating life. You can always mope around the house in your sweats feeling sorry for yourself or you can get out there and force yourself to enjoy your life and the opportunities you still have in front of you. While a certain amount of grief is expected, it is ultimately your responsibility to decide how long it will last.

Acceptance

 Coming to terms with a breakup may be one of the hardest things you'll come across in your life, but if you are dedicated to overcoming it, you will eventually enter the final acceptance stage sooner or later. The funny thing about accepting the heartbreaking breakup is that you never know when it will happen. You might be out for the evening and realized that you didn't think about the one who hurt you all night or you may wake up one morning only to discover the ache in you heart is no longer there.

  When you do finally reach this stage, be grateful that you made it through this grueling experience. Understand that this situation has made you stronger and be sure to never to get embittered by the whole predicament. Focusing on the positive side of recovery will make you a more confident person and will also prepare you for certain obstacles that may arise in the future. 


             What you really need to do is celebrate. You have moved to a higher level, a higher plane, and moments like these should be remembered forever.

           On the other hand, perhaps it is a groovy kind of love. 


 P/S 


To you whom I haven't met yet, when you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.

Tell me how many beads there are,
          In a silver chain,
            Of evening rain,
                Unraveled from the tumbling main,
                        And threading the eye of a yellow star: -
                              So many times do I love again.




Keep in your heart the fact that I had fallen in love with you way before we knew each other. This is the groovy kind of love that we shared, and one day, hands by hands, I will say that I love you till death do us apart. Until then, take care there my mysterious someone, you and me, we are one. :)


With Love,

Half Moon Serenades

 
 
 

Friday, February 18, 2011

Age & Love Connection


Kahlil Gibran once said:

"Ever has it been that love know its own depth until the hour of separation."     
   
       For someone who writes about relationships, it is pretty risky to make the statement that age matters; however, I believe in speaking the truth. I also believe in voicing the concerns of the those that visit this site. 

         From this vantage point and with respect to love and heartbreak, age definitely matters.

            Here is the reason why: we each have a grand plan for our life based on age. It goes something like this:
•    In my teens, I’ll get into a good college or get a good job.
•    In my early twenties, my career will start to take off.
•    By my mid-twenties, I will meet the person of my dreams.
•    In my thirties, I will be married and have 2.2 beautiful children.
•    In my forties, I’ll be running the company for which I’ve been working.
•    In my fifties, I’ll reflect back on my life and my grown children and smile.
•    In my sixties, I’ll retire and travel the world.

          Sound familiar? Give or take a few years and interchange a couple of details and these types of age confined dreams are quite universal. So what happens when things don’t go as expected? What happens when instead of two kids in our thirties, we end up with our heart in two pieces? We feel broken; not only is our heart shattered, so too is our self-perception.

       It is critical to understand that the pain one feels after a break up is only partially due to the separation from our mate. What causes equal, if not greater agony, is dealing with our crushed dreams. 

        Our dream to be a certain age and have accomplished certain things has been stolen. To overcome the challenge of heartbreak based on age related fears, we must face them head on.

Fear: I’m getting older and will be alone. So you are 25 or 45 or [insert your age] and you are alone. You are scared. This is natural. Many people have a fear of aging – period. Heck, the entire beauty industry thrives on our distaste for more age. When you mix the panic of being alone with an aversion of getting older, the combination results in a very potent fear.


Hope: On this blog there are thousands of visitors (no exaggeration) in their 20s, 30s, 50s, and yes, 60s that are looking to get over an old love in order to find a new one. You are not alone. The times have changed and people are looking to be in a healthy, loving relationship. As such, there is no dearth of available men and women. After you have gone through the stepped process for recovery and you are ready, you will begin dating again. Regardless of your age or whether you have had it in the past, true love will find you.
 
Fear: I am damaged goods. Almost all of us have had experiences which have left us feeling less than perfect; however, they are experiences, not who you are. I have always been puzzled by the statement, “I am separated.” If this is your situation, remember, it is not a I am statement, it is an I have gone thru statement. No one is fundamentally flawed – especially not those who work actively to heal their wounds.

Hope: Absorb the power provided by an example. Find someone around you who has triumphed over adversity in their life. Find someone who has been dealt an unexpected hand and turned it around to their benefit. Ask them to tell you their story. If you don’t see anyone that fits the bill in your immediate surroundings, pick up a Chicken Soup for the Soul book and read hundreds of inspiring stories. You will find that people do not become their bad experiences, rather they work through them and come out stronger. So will you.

Fear: This just was not supposed to happen to us at this age! This is a negative idea that races through the minds of many who endure a break up. The thought is rooted in the break from your grand life plan. Remember, you created that plan, but the universe has something better in store.

Hope: I have never, ever seen a case where someone who has embraced the changes in their life did not end up happier. You will too. Keep in mind that your past relationship(s) were not a waste of time. For many, they provided growth, sometimes beautiful children, and although it may not seem so, some good memories. Everything that has happened has made you who you are today and ahead awaits an even greater experience.

             Remember,  please do not restrict your dreams. Your visions do not wish to be bound- especially to the confines of age. Paul Gaugin didn’t start painting til his mid-forties, Granda Moses in her seventies, Charles Darwin published his first book in his fifties, and Colonel Sanders founded KFC in his sixties. Age only matters if we allow it to matter. Dream bigger. Dream brighter. Set your dreams free today.

             In love, age is just a groovy kind of number that sometimes we used as an excuse, even though sometimes it was correct if we said that the older the guy is, the matured he are. But at the end of the day, love will always win.



P/S

To you whom I haven't met yet, love is like when you put someone on a pedestal, and they fall, but you are there to catch them. It put fun together, the sadness apart and the joy in our heart. Appear in my heart one day my mysterious someone. We can be together like two volumes of one book and we can be like a wild rose which is beautiful and calm, yet won't afraid to draw blood in defense. Countless of days I am waiting for someone to appear in my life and I won't stop waiting till we met with each other.

For me, love is like a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of the end. That is the love that I hope I can find in you. Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

Love me one day, and I will try my best to color the canvas of your life with beautiful rainbow. Until then, put in your heart the fact that I had fallen in love with you way before we knew each other. And that is a groovy kind of love that we shared. Take care there wherever you are my other half of the sky. I am right there in your heart.

With all my heart, loving you.

Half Moon Serenades. 

Thursday, February 17, 2011

How To Mend A Broken Love, Heart & Mind?

          
        Michael Hickenbottom once said that:

"Somewhere along the line, I had lost my smile and maybe I should stop and have the vacation of a lifetime."

           You are sitting with your cell phone staring at a text message you wrote to your ex hours ago. You debate whether to send it or not. You stare at your phone while your mind tells you to have more respect for yourself. You logically understand that sending the message is not going to make the situation any better – nor will it heal your pain. 

Then your heart enters the scene and overpowers your mind. 

Your heart says, 

“Go ahead, send it, you will feel better…temporarily at least.”

                The scenario above represents one example of a misalignment between your heart and your mind that is a common occurrence after a break up. Every decision you make is determined by a combination of your logic and emotion. If these different elements that make you who you are happen to conflict, you will understandably feel conflicted and make decisions that reflect this turmoil.

               The concept of alignment will help you understand why you may have been in a relationship that was not good enough for you. It will also help you understand how to use your logic to help heal your broken heart. Let’s look at some more examples of what happens when your heart and mind disagree with one another.

During the Relationship

Your mind says, “I deserve more – this relationship is not right.”
 
Your heart says, “Stay, it will work out.”

             If you were in a relationship where it was obvious that you were not receiving the love, respect, and engagement that you deserve, then your mind was probably nudging you during the relationship and asking you, “Why are we still here?” 

             You remained in that relationship for longer than you should have because your heart believed that your mate and relationship could change.

            Your heart believed that it was better to be in a relationship that was mediocre than to be alone. 

Your heart was saying to you, “Hey, give it a chance, it’s not that bad.” 

            Your mind and heart were not aligned and this probably led to fighting, to an internal struggle, and eventually the break up. 

          Often when we want more from a relationship than we are getting, we continually try to get ‘more’ by attempting to change the person we are with or by forcing other changes in the relationship. This is generally a destructive path.

During the Relationship

Your heart says, “This relationship is everything I need.”
 
Your mind says, “There are red flags here that I shouldn’t ignore.”

             When one partner in a relationship is not happy, they usually provide indications either verbally, in the form of passive-aggressive behavior, or via non-verbal actions of their discontent. If you are the other partner that is madly in love, you do actually receive the red flags as signals in your mind. 

           Unfortunately, your heart overpowers your logic in this case. Your heart speaks so loudly about how in love you are and how perfect everything is, that you drown out the messages your mind has received.

           Eventually, after the break up, it is easier to see the red flags were present in your relationship. You also may realize that some of the reason you were deeply attached to your ex was because you loved the idea of being in love. If you relate to this scenario, remember, you deserve a love with equal give and take. 

         Reciprocity is essential to the success of a relationship and you should never have to convince someone to love you as much as you love them.

After the Break Up

Your mind says, “I am going to be okay. In fact, before long, I’m going to feel like myself.”
 
Your heart says, “The pain is excruciating, I don’t think I will ever feel at peace again.”

              After your break up, if you sit quietly and listen to your inner voice, you will hear hope inside. This hope is telling you that you will feel better, that you will live life once again with passion, and that you will experience love once again. 

             The information you are being sent from your mind  is based on your history and the fact that you have overcome obstacles in the past. Your mind remembers the times where you have faced adversity and have come out on the other side stronger and brighter. 

Your heart is speaking out of fear; listen to your mind – it has a strong basis for giving you hope.


             Listen to words from friends, family, and counselors even if they do not feel like they are helping to heal your broken heart. Every single word helps. 

            Listen to every word someone with experience has to tell you. Up until now, we haven’t discussed the subconscious mind. Positive messages to your subconscious mind can overpower negative ones from your heart. 

              Everything you are reading and listening to about healing is entering your subconscious and will help you heal faster.

           Above I have discussed the logical mind being overpowered by a somewhat illogical heart based on my own experience. My heart is aching when my first love left me when I am suffering from a tumor at my neck but my mind, is saying to me, I still love her and will never let  her go.

          But, at the end of the day, when the other half of your sky have a change in their heart, you can't do anything more other than wishing them silently,
"I want you to be happy, smile always my angel, may  you and your new sweethearts last forever."

         However, please note, the situation can certainly occur in reverse. Your heart may experience genuine love yet have seeds of doubt planted by an insecure mind.

           In either situation, if you are looking to heal your heartache from your current break up, you can begin in your mind to see where your heart stands.

         As always, perhaps it is a groovy kind of love that we experienced in our life.

P/S

To you whom I haven't met yet, life has taught me that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but instead, life taught me that one day, when I met you, we will be looking outward together in the same direction. Appear in my life one day, my mysterious someone. Let your love be like the misty rain, coming softly, yet flooding my heart and mind like a dashing river. For you see, each day I will love you more and today going to be more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Put in your heart that one day, when we finally met each other, our love will be like a garden with beautiful blooms, straggling weeds, swooping birds and most importantly, sunshine and rain that will enlighten the seeds of our love.

Will I love you one day because you are beautiful?

No.

I will love you because your love makes me beautiful in my heart and mind.

And that is the love that I found in you.

Put in your heart the fact that I love you way before we met with each other.



Loving you always,

Half Moon Serenades.. :)