Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Art of Anger Management

Siddhartha Gautama Buddha once said:

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

         Anger could cause big problems. A problem that is small in the beginning could become bad if we handle it with anger. Not only will the situation itself get worse, our relationships with others could also deteriorate. In short, handling something with anger won’t make things better.

         That’s why it’s essential to control anger. By controlling anger we will be able to handle problems with calm. We can then exercise our wisdom and judgment to the problem at hand to achieve the best possible solution. Being someone who sometimes gets angry, there are some tips I find useful on dealing with anger. 

 1. Take a deep breath
Taking a deep breath is an easy way to calm your nerves. It will be easier for you to do the other tips when your anger has subsided.

2. Drink a glass of water

It’s also an easy way to calm your nerves.

3. Take a bath

I know it is not possible in many circumstances, but if you can do it the effect is immediate.

4. Don’t speak while you are angry

If you did so you may speak harshly to others and that could be something you regret. There is a nice quote about it:

"When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred."
Thomas Jefferson

5. Listen to what people say

Continuing the previous tip, not only should we not speak while we are angry, we should also learn to listen. Pay attention and try to understand the point the other person makes.

6. Take a walk

Changing your situation is a good way to overcome anger. One way to do so is by taking a walk outside.

7. Pray or meditate

Praying or meditating is an effective way to calm your nerve. It could help you regain your inner peace.

8. Listen to calming music

My favorite is instrumental music since it seems to have better calming effect but you can use whatever music that works for you.

9. Have realistic expectations

Sometimes we are angry simply because we have unrealistic expectations toward others. Make sure that your expectations are realistic. You can’t expect other people to be like you.

10. Realize that nobody is perfect

Everybody can make mistake including you. Realizing this will make it easier for you to understand when someone makes mistakes.

11. See from the other person’s perspective

One way to do that is by asking yourself: “How do I feel if I’m in his or her position?”

12. Tell a wise friend

Sometimes you just need to talk about it with a wise friend. He or she can help you see the problem in the right perspective. Just be careful to choose the right person.

13. Look at the positive side

This is a habit you should build. The habit of looking at the positive side will help you look at many situations in constructive ways.

14. Exercise

You can control anger by directing your energy to a different direction so that it’s no longer available for anger. A good candidate is exercising.

15. Learn to forgive

f you release forgiveness you will no longer have reasons to angry to someone else. You can then focus on positive ways to solve the problem.

16. Think in long term

Often we are angry because we see too near to the future and do not think about the implications in the long term. By seeing in the long term we will be able to see the consequences of anger. There’s a quote I love about it:

"When anger rises, think of the consequences."
- Confucius

                    Perhaps by controlling the anger in our life, we will be able to feel the love coming softly into our heart, a groovy kind of love. 



To you whom I haven't met, looking back as old lovers go walking past me, I couldn't stop wondering how they met and what makes it last? I always stop and thinking about you especially when the words of love song being played in the radio touched my heart. How I wish you will appear in my life one day.

I'll count the hours until that day arrives, when the rhapsody of love is playing music for you and me, until the moment you give your loves to me,  when you'll be the one I will care for in my entire life. 

I can't promise you the world, but I do believe I have the capability to love you with all my heart. Being heart-broken by someone that I loved before is hard but thinking of starting a new love life with you one day, that's the most beautiful stanza in my life.

Until then, put in your heart the fact I had fallen in love with you so much way before we knew each other. Or we might knew each other already but the love wasn't whispered into our heart yet. When you eventually read my blog one day, know that all the post here is dedicated to you, my other half of the sky.

 For the moonlight of my future life,

The Half Moon Serenade.
2nd August 2011. 


SUB said...

those are good tips...will remember when i am angry :)

Hilda said...

I have friends who went through a lot in the past. They were sadly betrayed and abused. Therefore, keeping unnecessary anger inside of them all the time. It does have a negative impact on their lives because every time they get together with their lovers or friends, they tend to talk about their past a lot.
I have alot of issues and betrayals, but i tend to ignore them and move on because to me life is about making yourself happy and bettering yourself. But I have to admit, there are times that I had to vent out just to get stuff off of my chest.