Forrest Gump once said:
"Life is like a box of chocolate, you will never know what you gonna get."
There is an awful lot you can tell about a person by their interest.
I love soft toys. Especially the one stuffed with soft, white cotton and have smooth and soft fur. In my life, I've bought a lot of soft toys, whether it is for myself or as a gift for others. I bet if I think about it really hard, I could remember about my first soft toys.
Anyway, having soft toys won't make a guy like me look like a working transvestite. There is a different viewpoint of what I felt about soft toys compare to some guys. Before this, the soft toys often serving the purpose of entertaining children. But as time goes by, some soft toys have become collector's items.
Months ago, I stumbled upon this soft toys, a Winnie the Pooh bear (I am super huge fanatic maniac of this fictional character) at Queensbay Mall. As I browsed the shelf at Toy R Us for the latest soft toys, there was this little girl staring at me as if I am an alien from Mars.
Then she walked away while holding this cute pair of Mickey and Minnie Mouse soft toys. Deep in my heart, I whisper:
"She must be one more rich and spoiled little girl"
But I was wrong. Far outside of the shop, there was her mummy staring at her and softly asking her to put back the soft toys. She looks unhappy but I didn't bother it much as my focus at that time was more on this Kermit the Frog memorabilia.
Then I heard someone sobbing really soft walking at my back. No, it is not a ghost (not Casper too). It was this little girl walking slowly but surely to the rack next to me, putting back the cute Mickey and Minnie Mouse soft toys. I can see clearly the tears in her eyes.
It reminds me how hard my life is before when I was a little child. I was born in a poor family who couldn't afford to buy any toys. So I ended up learning things like origami (taking the old newspaper as as the origami paper), making cars from box and many McGyver type of invention.
The little girl walked away from the shop, as I proceed to the counter. Actually I am planning to buy a teddy bear for Poh Lin as a gift for her birthday but the thought of this little girl make me forget about it. I ended up buying this Elmo soft toys for myself (I am a huge Sesame Street memorabilia collector's) and small size teddy bear.
As I walked away from the shop, I saw this cute little girl walked with her mummy into the Jusco superstore. And for no particular reason, I walked back inside Toy R Us, walking straight to the rack where the little girl put the Mickey and Minnie Mouse soft toys.
I took it and I realized the price of this item is RM119.95 and it struck into my mind that perhaps, this little girl couldn't afford it. I mean judging from her clothes and her mummy clothes, i can assume that they are from lower or middle-income family, which make this item a luxurious one for them.
I did something, which I will explain after this.
So I walked into the superstore with the hope of finding perfume for Poh Lin as a replacement for the soft toys. As I browsed the perfume at Elizabeth Arden (or Dior?), I saw this little girl again walking up at the escalator with her mom. She look terribly sad though.
As the salesgirl busy packing the perfume (bought a Donna Karan New York Delicious Perfume for Poh Lin), my eyes wildly searching for them with my hand holding something, something that will make someone happy.
I stumbled upon them at the stationary section. And as I slowly approached this little girl, she was like a David (so small in size, roughly three to four years of age) compare to Goliath like me.
She looks at me, with her pure and innocent looks. I asked her:
"What is your name pretty girl?"
She replied softly in broken English that her name is Rose Chan (sound like an actress name for me?). And I saw the mother rushing towards us as if I'm a second-class pervert. But before she began to shout (which I thought she would do it) I handed over this Mickey and Minnie Mouse soft toys to this girl who with the joy and excitement, grab it as if she received a gift of a lifetime.
The mother smiled at me (I think she is roughly the same age as me, perhaps younger). She asked her little girl to returned it back to me, but this Rose, she ran away with it to the chair and began to talk with the soft toys.
She looks so cute and cuddly like the soft toys. At first, her mummy looks reluctant to except it but as we walked together (after I picked the gift for Poh Lin), I asked her:
"Why you seems unhappy with Rose just now at Toys R Us?"
She replied that she couldn't afford to buy her that soft toys with her work as a hawker in the town area. I told her Rose seems so in love with it.
As we sit at the Breeks Cafe, she is so scared to order the food even though I told her from the beginning that I would pay for it. Well, the little Rose choose her food (the menu is full of picture, so it is not hard for a little girl like her to make a wise choice), she just order a plate of Spaghetti Bolognaise.
She told me that her husband just left her in August. And she is on a tight ratios of spending. Bringing Rose to Queensbay Mall that day, was to celebrate Rose birthday she said.
I asked her what is wrong with her leg (I noticed that she walked slowly just now). She said that her leg is just fine albeit some wound as a result of stepping on a broken glass.
Now, it sounds weird but for no particular reason, I bend down on my knees, checking the wound and to my surprise, it looks horrible. As if the wound is transforming into grilled beef type of color.
So as soon as we finish the food, I bring her to Hospital Pantai at Bayan Bayu to meet my friend there, Dr.Annette Lim.
As the mummy was treated for the wound, I was playing with this little girl. My mum always said that I can be a good father one day as most of the kids or babies love to play with me. My mum always have special way to explain things to me, to make me happy. But I do love kids.
If woman was the other half of the sky of my life, then the babies and kids, they are the shinning stars for me.
I play with her, with the soft toys. And since Mickey and Minnie Mouse already have a beautiful name, I gave Rose the teddy bear and asked her to name it.
She said, why not she put the teddy bear name with my name?
I said to her that teddy bear wouldn't like to be named with my name, because too hard to pronounce (how many Chinese can pronouce my first name, Zul without even associating it with Zoo?).
So, she began to walk here and there with me to think what is the suitable name for the bear. Then she stopped and tell me:
"From today onwards, his name is Bear Bear. Full name is Mr.Teddy Bear. Agree?"
I want to laugh my ass out but she is really cute. She is like an angel to me. So I end up agreeing with her (she even make me swear to called the soft toys Bear Bear).
As time goes by, the mummy finish the medical check up and it turn out she is fine and as beautiful as ever. So it is time to sent them back to their house in town.
As this Rose step down from my car, she began to cry and hugging my arms (she sat in front with me, with Bear Bear too). I can feel that my long-sleeve shirt is full of her tears.
She told me something that I wouldn't never forget in my life. She told me:
"I wish I can have daddy like you."
I took her into my laps, and I pointed my finger to the sky (quite cloudy at that time, almost night time).
I told her, that she must continue to make a wish every night. I told her that for every wish that she made to the stars, there is one silent kiss I will sent to the sky, so that the wind will blown it to her pretty cheeks.
She smiled, and that is the last time I saw her because the Macallum flats area is huge and I forget to ask where is her house.
You see, life sometimes is so special to me. Yes, I feel lonely sometimes. Yes, it seems that the love is not with me. But to brighten a little child life like her, it makes me happy. It makes me satisfied. Hell, I think it is much better than sex.
Just joking. I never experienced it okay.
That's the value of soft toys to me. I am not embarrassed to told anyone that I loving it so much. I love kids too, and I love my mummy too. And lately, I love someone too (one way only).
Well, that is the story of Bear Bear. I hope one day, I can meet Rose again. This time, minus the sad face. And while waiting for the time to come, I just enjoy my life as usual.
A groovy kind of life and heart. This is me.
To you whom I haven't met yet, I am not sure you knew it or not, but I guess you don't know. There is something about life that we often neglect. One of it is that life is like a rainbow. Do you agree?
If yes, it is good. It shows that you and me, if one day I am brave enough to tell you, can be like peas and carrots.
If no, are you sure? Hold on. Whenever the sky lashes down the rain, wait until it appear.The rainbow of course, not me. Because forever and a day, there will be a rainbow connection between us. You on the other side, me on the other side too.
Until then, I will be right here waiting for you. Forever and always. I love you, put it in your heart the fact that I love you way before we knew each other, that is a groovy kind of love that we will share together.
The Half Moon Serenades.