Saturday, March 26, 2011

The Respect In Love


Kahlil Gibran once said:

"The chemist who can extract from his heart's elements, compassion, respect, longing, patience, regret, surprise, and forgiveness and compound them into one can create that atom which is called love."


            What is in the words of "I love you" if there is no respect? 

            It is so easy these days to say I love you. We can say it through singing telegrams, flowers, candy, gifts, chocolate and even text messages now. 

           The traditional way to let someone know you love and care about them is by giving them a card that says so. 

          Even phone conversations often end with a little "I love you" as we run to our next action for the day.

          But how many times can we say I love and yet refuse to listen? How many times can we say 'I love you' and criticize our partner's their thoughts or actions if they are not like ours. 

          Showing true love in our lives to our partners and family begins with respect. It is sustained with continual appreciation and respect for that special person in our lives.

          Respect is sometimes defined as "having regard for" or "appreciation of"; and my favorite definition is "avoiding violation of." 

          How do we avoid violating our partner or loved one?

          A violation within a relationship can happen in many ways, but it always involves breaking the will of someone else. When we break the will of our partner, they will struggle with trusting us. Breaking that person's will usually lead to breaking their spirit.

          If you find your partner does not have the "spirit" or energy to keep trying then do a check on the respect areas of your relationship with these questions:

1. When they speak do you listen or ignore them?

2. When they have an idea do you praise or belittle that idea?

3. When they accomplish something or perform a difficult task do you offer praise and acknowledgment of a job well done?

4. Do you talk down to your partner?

           Your answers here will help you to realize if you are respecting and honoring your partner within your relationship or taking them for granted.

         A relationship built on a foundation of mutual respect between partners is one that opens to freedom. It is a relationship that encourages the other person to grow and flourish in their environment. 

         Respect, like trust, is often earned, especially if it has been violated. However, it can be restored in a relationship that has been broken.

          Allowing your partner to be who they are and experience their ideas and individuality is the virtue of respect. The two of you have your unique differences, opinions, attitudes and moods, but together can experience a perfect blend of variety and often unexpected excitement within a relationship by accepting the distinction between you.

          Your road back to respect is the path that allows your uniqueness and that of your partner as well. It is not for spite to require your identity to be known, but for harmony with your mate who singularly has the freedom to express their own identity. Your journey back to a love filled with respect will involve first respecting yourself and accepting your own thoughts and ideas without judgment. 

        This will then blossom into providing that same acceptance for your partner without judgment.

        Celebrate the days you are able to provide respect for yourself and others; and acknowledge your ability to do so. 

          Accept your failure as a learning experience and apologize when you do let them or yourself down. 

         This relationship can be a journey filled with love and respect which is much more fulfilling.

          Perhaps it is just a groovy kind of love that existed in this world.



P/S

To you whom I haven't met yet, I am not sure you knew it or not, but I guess you don't know.

There is something about life that we often neglect. One of it is that life is like a rainbow. 

Do you agree?

If yes, it is good. It shows that you and me, if one day I am brave enough to tell you, can be like peas and carrots.

If no, are you sure? 

Hold on. Whenever the sky lashes down the rain, wait until it appear.The rainbow of course, not me. 

Because forever and a day, there will be a rainbow connection between us. You on the other side, me on the other side too. 



I just haven't met you yet,

Half Moon Serenades.

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