Monday, March 28, 2011

The Love In My Heart

Kahlil Gibran once said:

"And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips. "

         Half moon serenade. I really love this 80's song by Naoko  Kawai. This is one of the first song I tried to play when I visited my friend few years back.

        I still remember I promised myself that I will play again this song, perfectly, when I met my first love. I want her to feel the love that we shared. 

       And I did it albeit in more special way, playing it through Windows Live Messenger (she is studying in Sabah). That was the day, from January till April 2009, I'll play a song or two for her through Windows Live Messenger. 

       Sometimes, she came back to her room with a sad face while on web cam with me, telling how friends around her making her unhappy, and by doing this, it helps her. 

       Life must goes on for me. Despite the heart-ache that in me, I just serenade it within my mind over the half moon. She let me down when she left me by one simple SMS over the hand-phone while I'm in hospital. But in my heart, my love for her never change.

         It is true that in my life, this is not the first time people let me down, but being let down by someone who I love with my whole heart, it makes me started to lose hope on love, to give love a second chance. 

        Perhaps I don't have much luck in relationship, or perhaps, it is just me serenading under the half moon.

         Sometimes, I'd always hope that one day, I will find my own Jenny Curran (just like how Forrest Gump did), or my own Belle (just like how the Beast did), or my own Yoko Ono (just like how John Lennon did). 

        Someone who is patience enough to listen and going through all the craps that I did, laugh when I'm telling a stupid joke, and be with me through all my ups and downs. 

         Someone who will stand up and not embarrassed to tell everyone:

         Fairy tales does happen. Really. But it only happened when the other half of my sky existed. When I meet her, I won't tried my best to make her the happiest woman in the world (because it is impossible) but I will try my best to be a man who will fight for her honor.

        When night times arrived, when there was nothing to do and the life was all empty, I'd always shed some tears, alone. I guess there is not enough stars in the sky to cheer me up. 

        I don't really know what happen to the sky of Penang, sometimes it is so bright bright with stars until I can walk without any help of artificial light, but sometimes, there is no stars at all, putting my surrounding into dark black. 

      I wish I could have someone to be with me when the stars is there.

         But I guess I need to put my past behind me before I can move on. And slowly but surely I know it will happen when the other half of my sky appeared in front of me. 

      About Charis. I miss her, but I'm alone with it, she knows me very well, if there is anything she need or want, i won't be far away, just like how I bring her out from sadness called 'broken relationship'.

       I don't really know whether our destiny is fixed already, I don't know whether it is like a breeze, passing by in our life but I do know one thing, my life must go on.

           Until then, I will continue my own 'half moon serenade'...


For the special someone whom I haven't met yet, I might shed tears now, but you worth all the wait and tears that drops down to this God-given heaven called earth. Put in your heart the fact that I love you way before we meet each other (really really really). And feel proud with it, because you are every woman in the world to me.

With love,

The Half Moon Serenade

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