Thursday, February 10, 2011

How To Fall In Love?


          Kahlil Gibran once said that:

"Life without love, is like a tree without blossoms or fruit."

          Love is simple but the hardest part about love is how to fall in love with someone in our life? Well, it is hard to say, but there is something magical about it:

1. Meet a lot of people

The first key to falling in love is finding someone to fall in love with. The person you love will most likely be your best friend or someone that you have known for a while. Try hard not to fall in "love at first sight" - it's romantic, but it isn't very smart.

2. Give it time

Let's assume you've been going to parties, events, etc., and your friends have been introducing you to people they think you will be interested in. Don't rush the process. Take your time and be friendly and open to everyone you meet. Even if you aren't struck by a bolt out of the blue the first time, you may find yourself developing an attraction to someone you wouldn't normally have been that interested in just from one meeting. This can signal a person (and a relationship) of depth and substance. Letting things unfold for a little while can make you more open to different people. 

3. "Read" the person

Okay, you're interested. Is s/he interested? Watch for signals, body language, catching him or her looking at you, etc. Watching for subtle signs can tell you if s/he shares your interest.

4. Take the plunge

Ask him or her out. Don't worry that you will be turned down - and never allow yourself to be intimidated by extreme beauty or social status. If s/he seems interested in you despite the fact that you consider yourself ordinary while you consider him or her extraordinary, remember that you are a worthy person with much to offer. It's no big wonder that s/he would find you interesting, fun, and attractive!

5. Open yourself to love.

Now that you've been dating a little while, and you've found many common interests, allow yourself to open further. Share your heart, your dreams, your fears. Let your love in, to soothe your fears, support your dreams, and believe in you, as you believe in him or her. Holding back at this stage will only result in many tears and the erection of barriers that may never fall - allow yourself to open like a flower, and be vulnerable and transparent. This is the only way to find out for sure if the person you are falling in love with can be trusted with your most valuable resource: your heart.

6. Give yourself fully, receive wholeheartedly

Allowing yourself to receive love is as important as giving it. It is so important to believe that you are loved - look what it did for Peter Pan: In the 2003 movie, Pan fights with Captain Hook, and at one point, Pan is captured attempting to rescue Wendy. It shakes his confidence badly when Hook chides him for his arrogance and insinuates that he is only a protector, and not valued as a person. But as he lays on the deck in defeat, unable to fly without his "happy thoughts," Wendy leans down to kiss him, not even in a romantic way, but just in a reassuring, purely loving way. Peter turns pink and hurls himself into the air, having now recovered his "happy thoughts," and flings his arms wide as he blissfully realizes that he is loved. The one you love has much invested in being The One to answer your prayers, to heal your hurts, to make a huge difference in your life. Your ability to believe that you are loved is so important to the person in love with you, and ultimately, to your relationship, because it says that you trust your partner completely with your well-being, and most importantly, with your fragile heart.

7. Tell your love that you are in love

Nothing says love like saying it. Don't just assume that s/he knows - say it. Tell this remarkable person, not just "I love you," although that's pretty good. Say, "I am in love with you." There is no mistaking the meaning there, and it is important to cementing that feeling for both of you. It can help to settle nerves and fears, and gives both of you the certainty that comes with clearly stating your feelings.

8. Defend the honor of your love.

Never make jokes at his or her expense - many people fall in love, but then use their loved one as joke material. Don't make deprecating jokes about your love, and don't allow anyone else to make them either. Never jump to believe the worst of your love - instead, if you hear something disturbing, consider all the possibilities - maybe s/he had a rough day, maybe the person telling you is wrong. Above all, your response to disturbing gossip or accusations should be, "That doesn't sound like him/her at all. I'll talk with him or her tonight, but I'd appreciate it if you would not repeat that to anyone until we've had a chance to talk and get to the bottom of this." Don't let rumors fly without at least expressing your belief that your love is innocent, or at least justified in whatever is going on.

9. Do nothing to compromise trust.

This said, be sure that your conduct never gives rise to such rumors or accusations. If you are in love, you both should agree to the boundaries of your relationship, and once they are set, you should not violate those boundaries purposely - and you should take care not to violate it accidentally. Avoid anything that would give even the appearance of a violation of trust - in other words, don't do anything that even looks funky. Trust is usually given very easily - you want to trust each other. But once it is broken, repairs are generally quite obvious (you can always see where it was broken), ugly, and take a very long time to really bond into something real and functional again, if ever.

10. Believe in your love

Don't expect that you will never disagree, argue, or fight. As you stay together, conflicts will arise. Through them all, it is important to, if nothing else, intellectually remember that this is the person you love. Never threaten to break up or leave, and if you are threatened in this way, wait until a calmer moment to remind your love that this type of knee-jerk reaction to discontent is damaging to trust. Instead, address disagreements and hurts mindful of the fact that your partner would not hurt you intentionally. Remind yourself (and your love) that you can work through anything if you work together, and agree that breakup or leaving is off the table - don't make this threat lightly, ever, instead treating one another with respect and discussing problems like adults. You both must be able to trust in your love and believe that you are both fully committed in order to keep your love alive and create a lasting relationship.

11. Do something every day to make your love's life worth living

By reminding yourself and him/her daily that your love is real and alive, you will keep your relationship vibrant and healthy. Showing appreciation is underrated: the smallest things you do will make the biggest impression. Try making her coffee, or mending his favorite shirt. Try bringing orange juice to him or washing the dishes after she has made dinner. A smile when you come in from a long day at work, a sweet hug and kiss hello, a quick "I love you, sweetie," when you are leaving - all these things let your Love know that you are still thinking of him/her in the special way that you always have. Any little thing - a text of "<3 u" at a random moment during the day, a little email saying, "I was just thinking about how happy I'll be to see you when I get home, and how lucky I am to have you" - may seem like a little thing, but all these things add up to something big over time.

12. Celebrate

Falling in love is a rare, wonderful, miraculous state of being! If you've found The One, be glad! You can be an inspiration to others, that's true, but most of all, you and your love will be inspiration to one another. Remember every day that the hand you are holding right this moment is the hand that will caress your cheek tonight, hold your children tomorrow, and steady and comfort you when you are old. Hold on tight and never let go.

13. Fall in love for the right reasons

It is important to understand that what you value in your partner as you embark in the relationship has significant implications for the outcome of the relationship. Poor values like mere physical/sexual attraction can lead to a relationship that may not endure the test of time. It is important to love the person for their innermost being and to have friendship and genuine caring as the forefront points of attraction. Couples who merge together due to financial considerations is another course of poor decisions, as the value of money in a relationship can often lead to issues in long-term stability. Fall in love for the being inside the person, and you will have the key ingredient to a successful, long-term relationship. Get intimate and romantic with the person and live. Don't be afraid to make love come alive. 

  
            On the other hand, maybe the love is just around the corner and waiting for us to discover a groovy kind of love.


P/S
To you whom I haven't met yet, falling in love with someone is easy but to ensure a person stay truth to their words is hard. I am not a perfect man but one things that I know for sure is the fact that I will try my best to love you more and more each day as time goes by. We will grow old together, hands in hands, side by side, you and me, looking for the stars in the sky, knowing that our love will grow stronger. Perhaps the serenades will lead you into my heart one day.  
I ♥ you like I ♥ the day, when everything goes right.,I ♥ you like I ♥ to lay, watching stars at night.. But most of all, I ♥ you like I ♥ a cherished friend, who I hope will holds me tight, who I hope will dries my tears, and ♥ me till the end.

 

4 comments:

*Brownie Kiss* said...

Awww I like your blog and this post :)
Hmm, but is there really a guideline for falling in love? I think the steps defer form person to person. It just happens, I believe. :)

*Brownie Kiss* said...

Also, I am now following you. Please follow me back :) thank you.

tmac2271 said...

following you sir. nice post about love just before V day

i will be spending it with love for my piano lol

Sentimental Heart (23 years old) said...

Thanks a lot both of you.. Glad that you like it. Come visit my blog again in future and have a nice day! :)