Friday, January 13, 2017

Letters 504: Moving On

"If I knew you could hear me, I would say our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch."

- Tyler Keats Hawkins (Remember Me, 2010)


To whom I haven't met yet,

              I saw a lot of people living a messy life. It is funny in a sad way how one was trapped & hung on to 2016 while 2017 is here, right in front of them. So messy that they found themselves drowning & gasping for air in seas of problem.

               I tried to talk with a female colleague about one heart-wrenching incident in her life (divorce). The conversation itself was heart-wrenching & hard for both of them. She was hurt because she found out that all this while her church-going husband involved in extra-marital affair. If I know this conversation ripped her wound apart, I will never ask her to share the painful story of her husband infidelity. 

               The conversation ended but before that, she told despite all the explanation & apologies uttered by her husband, none of them was happy because they did not attain the closure needed in order to move on.

                Dear hummingbird, moving on is something easy yet difficult in so many ways. I was beyond mess through the last quarter of 2013. I was literally having mental breakdown whenever I was alone. But as time goes by, I moved on in my life & cast the mental breakdown away. I found myself smiling again. Just like that. I contributed my energy in helping the orphan at shelter home & the old folks at retirement home. I've lost a lover but I've gained a meaningful life. I forgave her because there is a tiny part of my heart which is full with fond memory of her. 

                  For few years, I abstained myself from being in any sort of relationship. But last December, I told myself it is time to give my heart one more chance. I am not closing this chapter of my life, I am just writing a new ones. It is a new life after all. I want to fly kite & court someone again. Yes, I know I can't make the girl I currently courted liked me, but I can always make her happy.

                   That is what love & moving on is all about. 



p.s   

One day, I will love you not because of the way you look or the way you talk. It is because of all the unnoticed acts from you, the acts that makes me smile.



For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.
13th of January 2017.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Letters 503: Everything

"When I had nothing to lose, I have everything."

- Paulo Coelho (Eleven Minutes, 2003)


To whom I haven't met yet,

              Here I am again for another letter, the 503rd & hopefully I should manage to say a lot before bedtime. It was a mix week for me to be honest. For the past few days, I haven't be able to do much as my back ache disturbed my daily routine. But today, I managed to get some good rest, a rest that I totally deserved. 

           When I least expected it, life sets me tonnes of challenges to test my courage & willingness to face the world. You see, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that I am not ready yet. Life does not look back. There are moments this week when troubles enters my life & I felt like giving up. But the problems is there for a reason. So I decided to face my fears & talk to my heart. 

            But other colleagues think exactly the opposite. They surrender themselves to fate without a second thought, hoping to find miracle to all their problems. They make others responsible for their work stuff. I decided not to give them any explanations, as people only hear what they want to hear.

            Dear hummingbird, sorry for the emotional outburst regarding my workplace. Let's talk about other stuff. For example, the courting process. Perhaps people will laugh at me but as strange as it sounds, I believe in miracle. But I should be thankful to God because at least one was give opportunity to love. When we love, we try to become better automatically, better than we are & everything around us becomes better too. Maybe her responds is kind of lukewarm, but it doesn't matter actually for me. I just wish her a good night sleep every night & wish her the best of the day the next morning. That is for me, a blessing. 

              As much as I wanted to write a long letter for you, I need to excuse myself from the laptop as my back ache is haunting me every seconds of the day. Until then. have yourself a wonderful week wherever you are. 



p.s

Certain things in life simply have to experienced & never explained. Love for you is such a thing.


For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.
8th of January 2017.  

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Letters 502: Angels

"It is quiet now. So quiet that you can almost hear other people's dreams."

- Gayle Forman (If I Stay, 2009)


To whom I haven't met yet,

       Here I am again for another letter to you (the first in 2017, the 502nd in 10 years). It was a long period of time & did you remember not too long ago, I mentioned that perhaps it is time for me to stop my writing soon? I told you that maybe the time is up & I should not wait anymore. Well, the truth is I am not.

       How can I stop writing when all this writing has been so inspiring & amazing right? For some people, my letters have been depressing & disheartening to read through. But I am proud of it because it is one of the way for me to keep me sane after long hours of work.

        Dear hummingbird, in future I know I do no need to seek refuge in my letters because my soul has found not just a shelter but a home in your heart. I am very sure it will be the last. *cross-fingers*

        As for the year 2017, I started the year with a bang. Like a real bang. The business flourished as expected after working days & nights. Also, I did few stuff from the bucket list. I brought my mom to few places that she longed to go before. Well, few days before 2016 ended, I wrote an e-mail to someone (not that she came from other states, Penangite through & through), telling her that about my feelings. Thank God I did that as I might regret if I kept it longer in my heart. Whether it is a success is another matter though, maybe not perhaps.

         Today letter is a short one as I am not feeling very well due to weird weather pattern for the past few days. But I just want you to know in future, I believe that as long as we know how feel for each other, we will be fine.

           In fact, we will be more than fine because you will be my angel.


p.s

Life always offers us a chance. Maybe not today, but it is called tomorrow.


For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.
4th of January 2016.      

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Letters 501: Lead Me On

"Sometimes, I guess there just aren't enough rocks to throw away."

- Forrest Gump (Forrest Gump, 1996)


To whom I haven't met yet,

          Here I am again for the last letter of the year & hopefully I should manage to say a lot as currently yours truly is here in Penang General Hospital since midnight for mom's heart treatment.

          Overall, 2016 is quite an amazing year for me in terms of working & personal life. For the period of 365 days, I had learned a very important lesson in my life which is once I chose hope, anything is possible. I am looking forward for 2017. A new year is is always a sweet time for to start a new chapter in my life. I hope you will enter the new year with cheerful spirit too.

           Anyway, blame it on my forgetfulness, I did bought for you a gift while I was in Paris few weeks ago. Be proud my hummingbird because by now, you should know that yours truly here is not the kind of person that liked to buy souvenir for anyone while traveling anywhere in the world. I will let your imagination run wild on what gift I bought for you. You should not be too worry as the Alfie Deyes's book & white chocolate that I bought together is not for you. Yours is way much smaller in size. It is not a random buying for all the gifts though as i set my mind on finding all of it before I departed from Kuala Lumpur International Airport. Remind me in future when you finally read this letter, will you?

            Dear hummingbird, I am not sure what was in my mind one week ago. I did something that out of my conscious by writing one letter to a girl. Okay, it is not actually a physical letter, it is more to an electronic mail (e-mail in case you still scratching your head thinking what kind of mail is this thingy). For the first time in five years, I told a girl that I liked her. Can you believe it? I thought of keeping it in my heart as I felt it will affect the communication between me & her but a girl as good as her did not come everyday in my life. Cut it short, she is not the prettiest girl out there, in fact I hardly heard anyone said she is pretty. But that is not what I found in her. There is something about her that I liked, something that I cannot find in girls I met for the past four years . 

            People always said, any girl that I liked will be very lucky. But as far as I am concern, when it comes to this, luck usually not on my side & I should not be worry too much as I know what I did is quite useless. While other guy will directly court any girl that they liked, here I am sending her an e-mail asking for a permission to court her. I am pretty sure (99.9% sure) she will reject it but, as I mentioned before, what the hell, just give it a try. I believe if not, I will regret the decision for not trying one day.

             And with that, I end this 501st letter with a hope that you will finally appear in my life one day. Also, I will make sure before giving you any gift from countries that I visited, it would not have the Made in China mark behind it (just joking :p). 

             Until then, have yourself a wonderful new year hummingbird.



p.s

We loved Him first because He first loved us.


Cheerios hummingbird,

The Half Moon Serenades.
29th of December 2016.   

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Letters 500: Love Lights the World

"Do we simply find ourselves awakening, as angels touched the heartstrings of our souls."

- Warren Wiebe (Human Touch, 1996)


To whom I haven't met yet, 

            Few years ago, I went for volunteering service at an orphanage. The idea was that the orphans would be matched with volunteers & taken on a RM 100 shopping spree at Mydin store. The store would open early only for all of us & the prices would be heavily discounted so that the orphans could choose what they needed for the Christmas. 
                
            Well, thank to my lucky star, I was matched up to a young girl about the age of 7 named Shu Yee (or Shu Ying, blame my deteriorating memory). As soon as we arrived at the store in the morning, I saw her reading a piece of paper with a list of stuff she wanted. A new shirt, a new jogging tracksuit to name a few were on the list. 

            The moment they opened the store, everyone rushed in to escape the scorching heat of morning sunlight. I had Shu Yee's list & wanted to find the items in her wishlist one by one yet this little sweetheart set her eyes on this sweater. I could see it in her eyes that this is what she really wanted. I tried to steer her away saying that we needed to find items on the list first.

            We choose all the things on her wishlist. As she walked into the changing room, I quickly grab the sweater & put it inside the basket. By then, I had already decided to buy her that sweater with own money as the sweater is around RM 245 apiece. We weren't allowed to spend more than the allotment since that would not be fair for the others. 

            Dear hummingbird, make it short, as we arrived at the cashier counter, I told her that Christmas is a time full of miracles & showed her the sweater. I know it sound so silly but it was a little miracle for her. Of course as you can guess, the sweater fit her nicely.

            I hope that you believe in the miracles my other half of the sky. Some people might dismissed it as pure luck  but I hope you won't. Until then, have yourself a wonderful day. 


p.s 

You are my today & all of my tomorrow.


Always another day,

The Half Moon Serenades.
25th of December 2016.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Letters 499: Of Four-Leaf Clover, Love & Luck

"Life cannot be captured, human heart cannot be captured."

- Parker Wilson (Hachiko: A Dog's Tale, 2009)


To whom I haven't met yet,

          It is getting harder to relax & enjoy my life as the year coming towards the end. To put in simple words, it looks like my business is picking up & requiring me to be busy quite often. There is nothing much I can do about it so I suppose I just to need to face it & keep my spirits high as time goes by.

          Anyway, do you believe in luck? For the past few years, I've met quite a few people that admire me for my ideas & life. Often in this interactions though, I find myself being very down to earth & almost coy about it. Whilst I know & feel that I deserve it, I always playing it down by saying I just got lucky. 

           That is however only one part of the truth. My definition of luck is definitely about the sense of being at the right place, at the right time. I had the guts, optimism & belief to pursue whatever impossible things in my life. 

            The first few years after I finished up my life as a student, it was hard. It was a learning process full of obstacles. I sacrificed much of my life to built self-confidence & career much to sheer disbelief from my friends who were just happy too happy to kiss the ass of their bosses. 

              Can you imagine eating your breakfast, lunch & dinner in your car? I did that. If I counted properly, I am pretty sure I can remember how many times I dropped my water tumbler on the passenger seat next to me just because I do not have enough time to go out & sit in a restaurant for dinner. But that is life. The hard work & with little luck, I am who I am at this moment while some of my friends struggling with credit card debt, car loan payment & housing mortgage.

                Dear hummingbird, each time I wrote you a letter here in my blog, I really hope that one day you will be able to read it & understand the beauty of my life. Sometimes, life is suck to the maximum but most of the times, it is just beautiful. 499 letters still not good enough to describe how much I hope I can share it face to face with you one day. 

                 Still i would not do any grumbling as I finish off this letter for you. Well, another one less to write before the New Year comes. 


p.s

Another day nearer to the end of the year & always another day less in search of you. Luck, my girl, will always be there in our pursuit of happiness.


To destiny,

The Half Moon Serenades.
21st of December 2016.    

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Letters 498: Breathe Again

"If you like her, if she makes you happy & if you feel like you know her, then do not let her go".

- Nicholas Sparks (Messages in a Bottle, 1998)


To whom I haven't met yet,

            Here I am again with another hour to spare as everyone went for lunch break. I am well at this moment even though the weather is getting weirder especially at night & early morning. A weird weather because roasted by day, frozen by night.

            Would you believe me if I told you that life shows its true colors with time? For me, it depends upon how we look towards life & what is your strategy of leading an ideal life as it took a number of turns during its whole span. As you should by now, life may not be kind to us all the times. 

             There was a time when a friend of mine said hope is nothing but a word for the weak people. But for me, life is worthless without hope. Hope is the key element in life which never lets us down & keeps our moral high. I am very optimistic in every way of my life & have faith in God. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, a slight inconvenience makes us to think that we are unfortunate but this is not the reality. It will light up our life positively.

             Dear hummingbird, someday somewhere, anywhere, unfailingly, you will find yourself in difficult situation. You might write the saddest poem of all that day. But never give up on hope & life. Just breathe again. This is my 498th letters  for you & for sure, it will never be the last. 

             Until then, have yourself a joyful life.


p.s

Vivre sans aimer n'est pas proprement vivre.


To destiny,

The Half Moon Serenades.
14th of December 2016.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Letters 497: Of Love, Life & Starry Starry Night

"If you want something, go get it, period."

- Chris Gardner (The Pursuit of Happyness, 2006)


To whom I haven't met yet,

            My housing area is not a quiet place. Cars honk & bikes rev. At the same time, the aunties & uncles sometimes test their vocal chords at odd hours of the night especially when they are playing mahjongs. But thank God, my house main door is soundproof & my Beats by Dr.Dre certainly helps too.

            However, my favorite time of day was actually night. My typical routine after dinner on non-working night was to head to my balcony, lie back on the rocking chair & look at the star-encrusted inky sky while listening to nice songs in Joox. Sometimes, I even spotted super big full moon. I bet some of my friends was envious as their night view are often blocked by huge skyscrapers. 

            Dear hummingbird, as I mentioned in previous letters, hot & cold weather have been recurrent themes for me this past few weeks. Over time, my body has also somewhat get used to this weird weather pattern. I hope this good run of health will continue until next year. 

           Today letter is a short one as yours truly here is quite busy restoring the old gramophone since morning. It has been a fast moving year for me. For the past 497 letters including this one, I shared with you my ups & downs. There is part of me you will never know, I will never deny it. But we will be fine one day. In fact, we will be more than fine. 

            Until then, my heart will expands in size as time goes by.


p.s

Forever is a long time but I would not mind spending it with you.


Starry starry night is life,

The Half Moon Serenades.
10th of December 2016.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Letters 496: Love is Patience & Kind

"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine."

- Rick Blaine (Casablanca, 1942)


To whom I haven't met yet,

           Another letter to you & another letter nearer to the end of 2016. But tomorrow is one special day. Tomorrow, I will finish off the last treatment for my neck problem, for good. Who would have thought that all this would ever finish? It is amazing knowing this painful yet colorful journey will finally come to happy ending. 

            For the past few years, I was engulfed by this mixed feelings, a mixture of different feeling at the same time. Sometimes, it makes me feel off balance but the most of the time, it was in a good way. 

            Anyway, I rarely shared my personal problem with others, not with family, not with my loved ones. It is not that I am too secretive but when I did shared stuff with them, I could see it in their eyes, the unnecessary tears. I am a positive person, in fact I will always smile even there is no hope or no more solutions. This past few years, I have been fighting with myself, trying hard not to be all tearful & emotional. Yet, I am really touch for the fact that there is still some people cared about me. Through their caring heart, I've learned what love is.

            Dear hummingbird, I am trying to be brave for tomorrow. I know few hours of pain will pass by like a gush of wind before I even realize how fast time fly. By the time November 2017 is here, I will be in airplane traveling all over the world again, just like few weeks ago. 

            I should have gone to bed now because it is going to be a long day tomorrow. But as you might know one day, I am the kind of person that like to roll here, roll there, roll everywhere on the bed before I can go close my eyes & sleep. Sometimes, I counted the blinking stars for no particular reason. 

           It is going to be a night to remember, as always. One day, we will share the same blinking stars, together. 


p.s

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7


And we created you in pairs – Quranic Verse – 78:8



For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.
12th of December 2016.   

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Letters 495: Of Winter, Love & The Space Between Us

"I have to live.Because we live for more than just ourselves. Most of the time we live for others."

- Thrity Umrigar (The Space Between Us, 2006)


To whom I haven't met yet,

            Here I am again for another short letter & just to let you know, I survived winter in Paris! Few years back, I encountered my first winter (in London) & my God, it was a baptism of fire. All my life, the icy white snow dazzled me but withstanding the freezing temperature requires strong inner strength for someone like me who thrives in tropical climate. 

            Talking about my first winter, my fingers & toes freeze despite the leather gloves & three pair of socks days in days out. I even slept under a couple of thermal vests, with three pillows & thick blanket on top of me for added warmth. Perhaps this is the main reason why I installed two units of air-conditioners in my bedroom today, in Penang. Perhaps this is the main reason why I went to South Korea in late November 2013 without a single sweater or gloves. Perhaps this is the main reason why I went on board Trans Siberian without asking for any heater. One of my friends said that the only beings will enjoy in my room is the Arctic bears.

              Nevertheless my hummingbird, I am thankful to God for giving me tonnes of opportunities to travel all over the countries in the world. As for now, I am now often scolded with the words such 'fat polar bear', 'hot piggy' & many lame name-calling each time I switched all the air-conditioners units at the same time with temperature of 16 degrees Celsius. 

              Anyway, for the past few days, heavy rain lashed Penang especially during night time. Sometimes, it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out. It was nice to stand at the balcony looking at the blinking stars. It was so beautiful. I wish you could have been here with me. 

               But as I said in my previous 494 letters, God have a much better plan for us. Maybe it is not the right time yet but it will happen. Until then, enjoy the last month of this beautiful year with happy emotions hummingbird.



p.s

It is enough for me to be sure that you & I exist at this moment. There is always something left to love at a space between us.


To where you are,

The Half Moon Serenades.
3rd of December 2016.