Saturday, August 27, 2016

Letters 482: Of Heart, Loss & Treasure

"Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself."

- Dr.Sean Maguire (Good Will Hunting, 1997)


To whom I haven't met yet,

             If I ask one of my friend about a writer, she probably will give me the details of everybook ever written by him (Haruki Murakami). She will,for sure, tell me everything about him, his country (Japan), his personal life & even something not related to him. But I'll bet she can't tell me what it smells like in Japan because she never been there.

              If I ask my male colleague about women, they probably give me a syllabus  about their personal favourites based on their long list of girlfriends. But I am pretty sure they can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman & feels truly happy

               If I ask a poet about love, most probably they will quote me a sonnet. But I bet that they never looked at a woman & been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feelings like God put an angel on earth just for you, who could rescue you from depths of hell.

               Dear hummingbird, the truth is people do not know about the real loss because it only occurs when you have loved someone or something more than yourself. I doubted that I will ever dared to love you that much one day. 

               I am not perfect & let me save you a suspense, I am not good looking too. But the question is whether or not we are perfect for each other? And I hope the answer will be yes. People will label our love as imperfections. But I will be fine, & I know you will be fine too. In fact, we will be more than fine.   

               Until then, have yourself a wonderful holiday this Wednesday.



p/s

Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.


To destiny,

The Half Moon Serenades.
27th of August 2016.   

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Letters 481: The Best of Us

"You are & always have been, my dream."

- Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook, 1996)


To whom I haven't met yet,

         If we are going to live in love, we have to learn to forgive each other. I once heard about a couple who were so upset after a big argument that they refused to speak to each other. 

          For me, they should not let the sun go down on their anger but instead, forgive. Above all things, put on love above having your own way or above your own egoistic agenda. Just choose to put love because when we choose to walk in love, we will have the power of God in our lives as well as healthier emotions.

           Dear hummingbird, we should always look for the best in each other. We can always throw rocks & point out at each other's fault but we need to make allowances for one another. We don't know what some people have been through, the pain & the heartache they have experiences. That is why for me, it is okay to be the first to apologize & be quick to forgive. 

           In many relationships, after time, people neglect to walk in love. One day, they realized that their hearts have changed. They just grew apart. 

           I want you & me to remember that one day, God will bring us together. God will put you in my life. I believe that by being kind & respecting you the way you deserved to be treated as a woman, God will do his part & make us forever in love.



p/s

For all the things my hands have held, the best by far was my mom & soon, will be you. 


For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.

21 August 2016.  

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Letters 480: Of Rough Draft & The Final Masterpiece

"I was thinking how nothing lasts & what a shame that is."

- Benjamin Button (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, 2008)


To whom I haven't met yet,

             Without them, there is nothing you know. It was a different kind of viewpoint of what I felt about woman. Perhaps an iconic specimen of God power in the world, just like the sunset & the sunrise.
          
             Woman as I knew most of the time, always understand the little child inside the man. Sometimes, they treated their guy like an infant. If a woman has to choose between catching a flying ball of opportunity & saving infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering how rough the path is in front of them. 

             Dear hummingbird, sure God created man before woman, but then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece aren't you? Don't get me wrong, it is not about saying woman is better than me, but after all, every guy is forever in their debt.

           Mama once told me before that for guy, every woman is wrong until she cries, & then they gonna tell the woman, she is right instantly. I laughed when I heard this but it is true. In history, Eva Braun managed to floored down Adolf Hitler or Marilyn Monroe bringing down John Fitzegerald Kennedy.


            For me,  that's how powerful a woman in this world. 



p/s    


Half of what I said in my 480 letters is meaningless but I said it so the other half may reach you out there.


Love is forever,

The Half Moon Serenades.
13th of August 2016.     

Monday, August 8, 2016

Letters 479: Epitome of Happiness

"The memories I value most, I don't ever see them fading."

- Kazuo Ishiguro (Never Let Me Go, 2005)


To whom I haven't met yet,

             Did you remember not too long ago, I mentioned in my letter that I am planning to stop my writing soon? I told you that maybe the time is up & I should not wait anymore. But the fact is I am not.

             How can I stop writing when all this waiting has been so inspiring & amazing? For some, my writings have been depressing & disheartening to read through. But I am proud of it because it is one of the way to keep me sane.

             Dear hummingbird, in future I know I do not need to seek refuge from my writing because my soul has found not a shelter, but a home in your heart. I am very sure it will be the last *cross-fingers*.

              Today letter is a short one as I am still not feeling very well due to weird weather pattern for the past few days. But I just want you to know, in future, I believe that as long as we know how feel for each other, we will be fine. 

              In fact, we will be more than fine because you will be my epitome of happiness.


p/s

There was another life that I might have had, but I am waiting for the one with you.


Yours sincerely,

The Half Moon Serenades.
8th of August 2016.
  

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Letters 478: The Fragrance of Modest Wild Flowers

"Both thorns & thistles it shall bring forth to you."

- Genesis 3:18 (New King James Version)


To whom I haven't met yet,

              Thorns & thistles. It refers to things in our life that bring us discomfort, torment & judgement. I used to wonder whether this term is applicable for someone or something. But as time goes by, I know it does. 

              Dear hummingbird, in our lives, we will bump into someone who will look down on us. You know, the kind of 'perfect nerdy' human that will shake & watch us drift into unknown hole. Their words mislead us into thinking that we have no right to think & imperfect. In simple words, those who do not respect us as a human in equal.

              But I want you to remember this. Take this opportunity to learn from all the people from different walk of life which you met, include them. Never allow others to shape into someone whom they want you to be. I never met you, yet, but I know you are better than that. I am better than that.

              Only throught the existing of all the thorns & thistles in your life, you will learn to appreciate the fragrance of a modest wild flower. At the end of the day, it is not about the person who hurts you, but the person who truly loves & supports you that matters. 
 
                           

p/s

I will always love you, through the thorns & thistles in your life. 


To where you are,

The Half Moon Serenades.
31st of July 2016.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Letters 477: Of Horror & Love Movies

"It maybe unfair but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime."

- Khaled Hosseini (The Kite Runner, 2003)


To whom I haven't met yet,

            Instead of watching Ghostbusters on AXN, I watched Me Before You. Yes, a love movie. For the past few years, I tried not to indulge myself in love movies because I did not live in it anymore. Once, I heard people said that by believing in love story. we are lying to ourselves.

             But who's the right one? The one who believe in love or the one who didn't believe in love? I believe the latter is the wrong ones. Sometimes, I feel that I am running away from love. I am not gay or the next Caitlyn Jenner. I am still the kind of man that who believes in love & everything related to it. 

             After my broke up few years back, there is time I don't believe that love will ever exist in my life but at the same time, I know it is just a melodrama. I will always be in love with someone. Someday, I will find my own 'Louisa' like William does in the movie. I know that someday, when my other half of the sky shows up in my life, I'll be her real man. 

             Dear hummingbird, I don't care how many times is going to get hurt or how many break up I will encounter because I believe one day, that other half of the sky will seize & love me with all her heart as how I love her. She will be the one that listen to my crazy words & funny craps I said & still think I'm cute. Someone who doesn't laugh at my physical appeareance but instead laugh with me for the silly things we did. Someone who is brave enough.

             Until then, I will live my life as if it is the last one. I will be happy & never give up, for just one more love.


p/s

I am thinking, will you be the kind of girl that prefer horror or love genre? If we ever watched a horror movie together one day & both of us ended up laughing instead shivering, I will pat myself on my shoulder because I know, you are the other half of my sky.


For you,

The Half Moon Serenades.
23rd of July 2016.  

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Letters 476: Au Destin

"Fight for your dreams & your dreams will fight for you."

- Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist, 1988)


To whom I haven't met yet,

             Will you believe me if I said life does not run along a straight line; rather it is a journey punctuated by a series of ups & downs?

            The tendency in us usually is to bemoan our fate. Often we may be heard to mutter, "I am tired of living". Even day-to-day (small) problems snowball into major headache. This outlook should be changed and hope is the essence of life and we should use it for good because lack of inspiration occasionally comes to haunt even eminent persons. 

            Dear hummingbird, I have found the reality in life, that if you hope until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more hope.   

           Perhaps all the tiger in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our hope. 

           Perhaps, life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act.
p/s

Exactly three years since my love was torn apart. But I learned I have to start again somewhere. I have a whole future ahead of me. It will not happen right away but time is the answer for everything. I hope time will bring me to you & I hope it will be forever.


To destiny,

 The Half Moon Serenades.
16th of July 2016. 

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Letters 475: Of Silence, Hello & Love

"Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts."

- Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore, 2002)


To whom I haven't met yet,

           Nowadays, it is not easy to define the word 'wealthy'. We used to declare that we would be satisfied once we earned a five-digit salary. Being able to change from 'Rapid Penang' to the cheapest local car available (such as my old faithful Perodua Myvi) was in fact, enough.

             Few weeks back, me & my colleague nearly choked on our lemon tea when we learnt that it cost one of our associate parents, RM 25,000 to buy for him a brand new Audemars Piguet watch as birthday present. Even though most of us can afford it but we decided there was no need to prolong that conversation about his watch.

             Young people today want the best simply because parents are prepared to fulfil their demands. Even primary school students are given expensive iPhone 6 on their birthdays before they turned 12. But many failed to realize that money cannot buy time, love, relationships & moral values. 

              Anyway, talking about birthday, for me there is no need for us to spent a fortune on birthday gift. Personalised gifts are invaluable. It could be a special handmade gift that you will never find in any shopping mall. It may simply be handwritten paper. Such gifts are priceless, for they speak of your worth to the giver.

              Dear you, it has been a fast-moving year for us. But let us pause to recall the truly fulfilling moments & seek to fill our days with more of such in the remaining six months of the year 2016. 

              Until then, you had me at hello.


p/s

Silence, I discover is something that you can actually hear.


For the other half of the sky,

The Half Moon Serenades.

10th of July 2016.    

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Letters 474: An Ocean of Secret

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

- Harry Burns (When Harry Met Sally, 1989)



To whom I haven't met yet,

         I have no idea that my life is going to change somewhere in the night of July 2013. Yet, it changed & still changing.

         People around me have seen my best & they have also seen me in my worst moment. There were times in which I failed to see & feel the happiness. There were times in which I took happiness for granted & let myself to be blinded by my own selfish needs. But thanks to God, I found my way back. 

          It has been three years. There were times in which I felt that I was never fully heal. I have been drifting out of love from others in order to compensate this hollow feeling within & perhaps to feel better about myself. But thanks to God again, He was there in my heart. 

         Sometimes, it takes more than one heartbreak to make a guy realize how foolish he has been. Sometimes, mistakes do more good than harm to a guy. And sometimes, it takes years, numerous heartbreaks, plenty of tears to make a person realize who is truly there for him. I think I never regret in making all the mistakes. I never regret falling in love with all the wrong people. For all of these have taught me great life lessons. It makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right person comes along.

          Dear hummingbird, I believe that one day, I do not need to seek refuge in my letters anymore. Because when I met you, my soul has found not a shelter, but a home, in your heart. 

           They said woman's heart is an ocean of secret. I will never deny this statement. There is part of you that I will never know. But I believe, that as long as we know how we feel for each other, we will be fine.

           In fact we will be more than fine. This I promise you.


p/s

I will return. I will find you. Love you. And live without any shame.


To destiny,

The Half Moon Serenades.
2nd of July 2016. 

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Letters 473: A Difference A Life

"It is amazing, Molly. The love inside me, you took it with you." 
 
 - Sam Wheat (Ghost, 1990)
 
 
To whom I haven't met yet
 
            Another letter for you & another letter nearer to the end. Lately, I've been waiting. Waiting for inspiration or some wonderful thing to come upon me that would be certainly be compelling enough to warrant a piece of writing.
 
            Love, how it makes us smilehow it makes us cry. While some of us are running towards it, there are also some of us who are running away from it. Heartbreak happens when you fall in love with someone who is running away from love.  
 
           How often have we heard about songs or stories which tell us about the foolishness or blindness which love caused? How often have we felt like a fool who is blinded by love & driven by nothing but passion? 
  
           I believe that love does not make us stupid or blind, it never does, it just makes us more humane. This fact petrifies some of us because when love does not only bring out the best in us but also the worst, we start to feel as if we are spiraling out of control, we are no longer our own self. For some, it is a nightmare & they start to blame it on love.
    
           Everyone is afraid of something. Some think that they won’t be able to face death; some think that they won’t be able to survive in the darkness. There is always something which bothering us but for me, it’s not just it. I think human’s biggest fear is when one has to face & confront his/her own deepest emotion & love is capable in triggering such deep emotion.
   
            Dear hummingbird, even though we proclaim ourselves as the most brilliant species on earth, we are bound with abundance fear & insecurity as well. We are actually masked. But, when we fall in love, we take that mask away & reveal our strength & weakness to the world. 
        
             For some, this is stupidity & blindness. But for me, it makes us a more humane person. A person should not only made of flesh & blood but he/she is also defines by his/her own strength & weakness. 
         
            How can love make us stupid or blind when it is actually teaching us the true meaning of life? A mask might shield you from the reality of this harsh world but how long can it be? You might think that love weaken you out but it is actually toughen you up through the trials & tribulations you might be facing.
          
             So, don’t run away from love, because I am not.

p/s
 
We will each make a difference, one at a time. :)
 
To destiny,
 
The Half Moon Serenades. 
25th of June 2016.